Week 38: OFFL Cup Semi-Finals Results

Craig McHugh: closer to Ashley's Bottom than Minty's Top

We, here at Studmarks, are sure you'd agree that it's got to the point, really it has, where this is all becoming just a little bit boring.

Tedious.

A little bit monotonous, in fact.  A fantasy footballing farce.

So here it is: Minty Colquhoun wins the Manager of the Week certificate this week with a large, large, large score of 35 points.  Her Minions have now passed the 400 point mark in the table which leaves them sitting everso Leicester-like and pretty at the top of the table.

Ooh, Look! At the other extremity of the table...  something seems to have woken up Ashley Keeler and his It's A Snickers this week.

Also worthy of note is Craig McHugh's Real Mcdrid.  Not only is their 30 point score the second largest this week but they're also the last team to have a points tally that is closer to the leaders than it is the bottomers.

Did we say that was worthy of note?

Yes, we did.

We were wrong.

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OFFL Cup
--------
Semi Finals, RESULTS

Radnorshire Tigers 17 v 26   Inter Milandrover
Alun Edwards                           Smasher

RS-TBOY            29 v 24  Moobchester United
Rick Beecroft                         Jon King

So we have a FINAL.  Rick Beecroft's RS-TBOY will take on Smasher's Inter Milandrover.

Commiserations to Alun Edwards and Jon King - particularly to Jon who is a moobingly massive Man U maniac and really, desperately, almost pleadingly wanted the biography on the next ex-manager of Manchester United*.

*There is no evidence to suggest that Mr King actually wants that book at all.  Though we're sure he wouldn't say no.


T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 51.6 35 424
 2 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    53.5 27 379
 3 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  53.1 26 377
 4 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    54.0 25 374
 5 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         53.1 26 364
 6 Moobchester United         Jon King        54.4 24 364
 7 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       53.9 13 353
 8 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   50.9 29 340
 9 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  53.3 22 329
10 Ali McMoist                Alison Faulkner 51.1 22 326
11 Moreton Rovers             Edgar Rayner    54.6 25 317
12 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    50.6 17 316
13 Real Mcdrid                Craig McHugh    53.7 30 311
14 Old Malcolm Academicals    Malcolm Pratt   54.8 28 305
15 The Flying Geese           Mandy Noble     52.9 19 304
16 Oak Hamsters               Steve Tierney   51.6 26 296
17 Seb Blattered Cod          Gavin Ward      52.0  9 290
18 Which Team                 Rachel Jones    53.3 13 283
19 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     50.0 24 277
20 Bad Wolf United            Karyn Meaden    54.1 13 218
21 Moanchester United         Alex Blundell   54.9  3 204
22 It's a Snickers FC         Ashley Keeler   51.7 20 189


                              Week's Average Points    21
                              Total Average Points    315
---

Week 37: Arise Lady Karyn

Karyn Meaden: third from bottom

SHE'S DONE IT!

After languishing at the base of the League Table for so long, Karyn Deborah Meaden has finally hoofed herself up to the lofty position of third [from bottom].

While Karyn's Bad Wolf United's score of 9 was enough to leapfrog the backwards-moving Moanchester United it was not enough to clinch a Manager of the Week certificate.  That honour is shared between Guy Harewood and Neil McConaghy.  Guy's Com-a mawhatsit and Neil's Diamonds both scored 18 points.  This has lifted both teams in the League, Guy into second and Neil into ninth.

And talking of Second Place, only 14 points separate seventh from second.

Meanwhile, the Semi-Finals of the OFFL Cup have commenced.  The OFFL Cup Winner will receive a biography of a Dutch manager who has been favourite for the sack all season - Louis Van Goaaaal.

But which teams are embarrassing themselves with their unashamed clamouring for it?

========
OFFL Cup
--------
Semi Finals, Week 38

Radnorshire Tigers v   Inter Milandrover
Alun Edwards                     Smasher

RS-TBOY            v  Moobchester United
Rick Beecroft                   Jon King


T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 50.6 13 389
 2 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    53.5 18 352
 3 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  53.1 13 351
 4 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    55.0  4 349
 5 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       53.9 10 340
 6 Moobchester United         Jon King        54.4 12 340
 7 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         53.1 12 338
 8 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   52.7 12 311
 9 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  53.3 18 307
10 Ali McMoist                Alison Faulkner 51.1 13 304
11 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    50.6  8 299
12 Moreton Rovers             Edgar Rayner    54.6  8 292
13 The Flying Geese           Mandy Noble     52.9  7 285
14 Seb Blattered Cod          Gavin Ward      52.0  3 281
15 Real Mcdrid                Craig McHugh    53.7 17 281
16 Old Malcolm Academicals    Malcolm Pratt   54.8  7 277
17 Oak Hamsters               Steve Tierney   51.6  9 270
18 Which Team                 Rachel Jones    53.3 15 270
19 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     50.0  6 253
20 Bad Wolf United            Karyn Meaden    54.1  9 205
21 Moanchester United         Alex Blundell   54.9 -1 201
22 It's a Snickers FC         Ashley Keeler   51.7  3 169


                              Week's Average Points     9
                              Total Average Points    293

Week 36: Cup Semi Finals Draw

Bad Wolf's Karyn is 'knocking' on Moanchester Utd's place

Manager of the Week this week is Alison Faulkner whose Ali McMoist scored an impressive 19 points to help themselves climb up three places and into the top ten in the table.

Falling furthest this week is Inter Milandrover, down four places from third into seventh.

And another healthy score from Bad Wolf United, we see. Now knocking on Moanchester Utd's twentieth place.  Fancy.

========
OFFL Cup
--------
Semi Finals, Week 38

Radnorshire Tigers v   Inter Milandrover
Alun Edwards                     Smasher

RS-TBOY            v  Moobchester United
Rick Beecroft                   Jon King

Get your transfers in soon, no - NOW.

Transfers Remaining:
--------------------
Moobchester United 6
RS-TBOY            2
Radnorshire Tigers 0
Inter Milandrover  0

You may now get on with your week.  If you can stand the excitement.

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T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 50.6  7 376
 2 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    55.0  8 345
 3 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  53.1 15 338
 4 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    53.5 11 334
 5 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       53.9 13 330
 6 Moobchester United         Jon King        54.4 16 328
 7 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         52.6  3 326
 8 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   52.7  6 299
 9 Ali McMoist                Alison Faulkner 51.1 19 291
10 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    51.2 15 291
11 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  53.3 14 289
12 Moreton Rovers             Edgar Rayner    54.6  9 284
13 Seb Blattered Cod          Gavin Ward      52.0 12 278
14 The Flying Geese           Mandy Noble     52.9 16 278
15 Old Malcolm Academicals    Malcolm Pratt   54.8  3 270
16 Real Mcdrid                Craig McHugh    53.7 12 264
17 Oak Hamsters               Steve Tierney   51.6  4 261
18 Which Team                 Rachel Jones    53.3  8 255
19 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     50.0  3 247
20 Moanchester United         Alex Blundell   54.9  2 202
21 Bad Wolf United            Karyn Meaden    54.1 14 196
22 It's a Snickers FC         Ashley Keeler   51.7  1 166


                              Week's Average Points     9
                              Total Average Points    284

-----------------------------
T r a n s f e r s   a n d   s t u f f
=============================

Radnorshire Tigers
-------------------
   From: Alun Edwards
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: 

Wow, that was a narrow squeak! I’d better concentrate on the semi-finals and make my final transfer:

OUT 336 CB  V Kompany    MC    4.6    

IN  338 CB P Jagielka    EVE  £4.0    

Aaaaahthenkoo

Ally

----------------------
Chairman responds:
I never did like the Kompany you kept.

=============================

Guess Hughton
-------------------
   From: Nick Reed
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com

Bah. Should be points per value of the squad of players used over the season! Ah well, another year trophy-less. Maybe Hughton's real chargers can do better...
Nick

----------------------
Chairman responds:
[THUMBING TOWARDS THE DOOR] Just get yer coat, you.

=============================

Inter Milandrover
-------------------
   From: Smasher
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: 

It's about the Cup though isn't it?

356 Alderwiereld in for 334 Wollscheid


----------------------
Chairman responds:
No, not really.

=============================

Week 34 & 35: OFFL Cup Quarter Final Results

Two drawers

Minty's Minions' lead at the top of the table was slashed to a mere 32 points this week.

A mere 32 points.

That's sarcasm.

Manager of the Week is Dave 'Only Hope Of An Upset' Clayton.  His Second-placed Pyeators scored a large 25 points.  It's a shame they're not still in the OFFL Cup as that score would, of course, have seen them through to the Semis.

========
OFFL Cup
--------
ROUND THREE
Results

Radnorshire Tigers* 13 v 13   Neil's Diamonds
Alun Edwards                   Neil McConaghy

Which Team          13 v 15 Inter Milandrover
Rachel Jones                          Smasher

RS-TBOY*            11 v 11     Guess Hughton
Rick Beecroft                       Nick Reed

Moobchester United  15 v  9    Moreton Rovers
Jon King                         Edgar Rayner

[*Wins on Pts/£ difference]

Very much like OMG Chairman's gaudy bedside cabinet, we had two draws this round - don't worry though folks, all administrative nightmares have been averted thanks to the Points per Pound difference rule.  God bless it.

Through to the next round, therefore, are... Rick Beecroft, Alun Edwards, Jon King and Smasher.

It's for a book on Louis Van Goaaal.  New one at that.  Fewer of you care, obviously.

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 50.6  9 369
 2 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    55.0 25 337
 3 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         52.6 15 323
 4 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  53.1 15 323
 5 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    53.5 24 323
 6 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       53.9 11 317
 7 Moobchester United         Jon King        54.4 15 312
 8 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   52.7 11 293
 9 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    51.2 13 276
10 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  53.3 13 275
11 Moreton Rovers             Edgar Rayner    54.6  9 275
12 Ali McMoist                Alison Faulkner 51.1  8 272
13 Old Malcolm Academicals    Malcolm Pratt   54.8 19 267
14 Seb Blattered Cod          Gavin Ward      52.0  8 266
15 The Flying Geese           Mandy Noble     52.9 11 262
16 Oak Hamsters               Steve Tierney   51.6 18 257
17 Real Mcdrid                Craig McHugh    53.7 11 252
18 Which Team                 Rachel Jones    53.3 13 247
19 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     50.0 14 244
20 Moanchester United         Alex Blundell   54.9  0 200
21 Bad Wolf United            Karyn Meaden    54.1 19 182
22 It's a Snickers FC         Ashley Keeler   51.7  7 165


                              Week's Average Points    13
                              Total Average Points    274
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