 |
| They've spelled his surname wrong, obviously |
And if you didn't catch the interview with Minty Cockyhoun last week then here it is again...
https://goo.gl/bavtCM
Meanwhile, Smasher is Manager of the Week this week with a stonking 31 points to push Inter Milandrover into fourth place in the League. This score will also see the 'Drovers through to Round Three of the OFFL Cup. The OFFL what?
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OFFL Cup
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ROUND TWO, Wk31, Results
The Flying Geese 6 v 16 Radnorshire Tigers
Inter Milandrover 31 v 19 Livercoolio
Moobchester United 26 v 12 Ali McMoist
Oak Hamsters 13 v 22 Guess Hughton
RS-TBOY 18 v 11 Seb Blattered Cod
Moreton Rovers 11 v 6 Moanchester United
Pyeators 20 v 22 Neil's Diamonds
Which Team 18 v 6 Old Malcolm Academicals
Neil's Diamonds squeeze past Pyeators in the most exciting tie of the round but League Champions, Livercoolio, are dumped out of the Cup by Inter Milandrover. Also through are the Cup holders, Radnorshire Tigers, who mauled some Flying Geese in defence of their title. Tigers Vs Hamsters next? Ah, no, it can't be. What about Tigers against some Seb Blattered Cod? Oh. That's out too.
Through to the 3rd Round...
Alun Edwards, Smasher, Jon King, Nick Reed, Rick Beecroft, Edgar Rayner, Neil McConaghy, Rachel Jones - congratulations all. You are one step closer to that Louis Van Goaaaal biography.
T h e T a b l e
Value Points
Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot
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1 Minty's Minions Minty Colquhoun 50.6 20 333
2 Guess Hughton Nick Reed 53.9 22 299
3 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 53.1 19 296
4 Inter Milandrover Smasher 54.5 31 295
5 Pyeators Dave Clayton 55.0 20 290
6 Moobchester United Jon King 54.4 26 280
7 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood 53.5 16 273
8 RS-TBOY Rick Beecroft 52.7 18 264
9 Neil's Diamonds Neil McConaghy 53.3 22 252
10 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 48.8 16 251
11 Ali McMoist Alison Faulkner 51.1 12 250
12 Seb Blattered Cod Gavin Ward 52.0 11 249
13 Moreton Rovers Edgar Rayner 54.6 11 249
14 The Flying Geese Mandy Noble 52.9 6 241
15 Which Team Rachel Jones 53.3 18 232
16 Old Malcolm Academicals Malcolm Pratt 54.8 6 228
17 Oak Hamsters Steve Tierney 51.6 13 217
18 Real Mcdrid Craig McHugh 53.7 17 213
19 Irishpool Mike Smears 50.3 16 208
20 Moanchester United Alex Blundell 54.9 6 194
21 It's a Snickers FC Ashley Keeler 51.7 9 152
22 Bad Wolf United Karyn Meaden 54.1 11 146
Week's Average Points 15
Total Average Points 246
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T r a n s f e r s a n d s t u f f
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Radnorshire Tigers
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From: Alun Edwards
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Dear Chairman Smash,
Tinkering... (who'd've believed at the beginning of the season that Leicester City players would seem like a safe bet for the run-in to the final games! Shame I've already got two Leicester high flyers and have to settle for Arsenal and Man City)
OUT
138 GK P Cech ARS 4.2
315 CB J Stones EVE 3.9
812 MF D Alli TOT 3.5
IN
114 GK H Lloris TOT £3.9
336 CB V Kompany MC £4.6
575 MF M Ozil ARS £5.5
Ally
----------------------
Chairman responds:
I wouldn't worry. They'll hit the wall in a game or two's time. Like what they were supposed to have done last week, and the week before, and the week before that. The usual relegation battle awaits the Foxes. Of course it does.
=============================
It's A Snickers
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From: Ashley Keeler
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
This isn't going well. Only blind optimism will save me now.
So let's go and win this thing. Yeah!
----------------------
Chairman responds:
Yeah! *Fistpump*
You're not so much this season's Leicester, are you? More Norwich.
=============================
Irishpool
-------------------
From: Mike Smears
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
MISTER PRESIDENT!
I am outraged!!! Having spent the last 6 months searching for my spectacles, I now see that you have allowed Irishpool to sink to a lowly status in your league, totally unfitting for my age and status. When will you start to exercise your responsibilities as the Donald Trump of OFFL, and expel these arrogant young mangers who rush ahead, gathering points ahead of me, with no respect for my age?
Well if you are not prepared to cooperate, I must take action. So please be so good as to effect the following transfer:
OUT
138 Cech
IN
114 Lloris.
And remember, our country votes in a new President in November (unless I’m getting confused….)
Yours officiously
Bristling from Bassett
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Chairman responds:
Dear Bristling, your pills are in the kitchen drawer nearest the iron lung. They've probably been covered up by this month's Saga magazine.
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