Week 28: Keeler In Need

Meanwhile: Colquhoun Attempts to Sign New Goalkeeper

Manager of the Week this week is Russell Bielby as his Champions Livercoolio netted 15 points.  He's now only 44 points behind the top team and 10 points behind second place.

...which is as thrilling as it gets this week.

Might be worth having a little look at Ashley Keeler's weekly score before you leave, maybe toss a couple of quid his way for him to get a cup of tea and a warm bed for the night.

T h e   T a b l e

                                            Value Points

   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot

 --------------------------------------------------------

 1 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 50.6 14 313

 2 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       53.9 14 279

 3 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  53.1 15 269

 4 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    55.0 13 266

 5 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         54.5 13 261

 6 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    53.5  6 251

 7 Moobchester United         Jon King        54.4  2 250

 8 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   52.7  7 243

 9 Moreton Rovers             Edgar Rayner    54.6  6 237

10 Ali McMoist                Alison Faulkner 51.1  5 233

11 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    48.8 12 228

12 Seb Blattered Cod          Gavin Ward      52.0  4 228

13 The Flying Geese           Mandy Noble     52.9  9 228

14 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  53.3 13 227

15 Old Malcolm Academicals    Malcolm Pratt   54.8 10 222

16 Which Team                 Rachel Jones    53.3 10 217

17 Oak Hamsters               Steve Tierney   51.6  3 204

18 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     50.3  8 194

19 Real Mcdrid                Craig McHugh    53.7  4 190

20 Moanchester United         Alex Blundell   54.9  1 189

21 It's a Snickers FC         Ashley Keeler   51.7 -2 147

22 Bad Wolf United            Karyn Meaden    54.1  2 135

                              Week's Average Points     7

                              Total Average Points    227

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T r a n s f e r s   a n d   s t u f f

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Minty's Minions

-------------------

   From: Minty Colquhoun

     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com

Subject: 

EXTRAORDINARY MEASURES

In the interests of 'fair play' I would like to transfer out my goalie for a month and exchange with Bob the Minion - image supplied.

Not only with this give the other competitors a 'level' playing field, but also make things more 'interesting' for me - which is all that matters, eh Chairman?

Make it so Number One.

----------------------

Chairman responds:

Unlike you to gloat. I like it.

=============================

Week 17: Sharpen your pencils

The OFFL Cup First Round is acoming

Managers of the Week are Russell Bielby and Edgar Rayner.  Their Livercoolio and Moreton Rovers respectively are shooting up the charts and now occupy places Fifth and Ninth.

Next week's Table standings will be used to distribute the teams into the first round groups of the OFFL Cup stage from which six teams will be eliminated.

Sharpen your transfer slip pencil.

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 51.5 13 175
 2 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    53.7  2 144
 3 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         54.8  4 136
 4 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       53.9  4 130
 5 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  54.7 16 129
 6 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    52.1 11 128
 7 Moobchester United         Jon King        54.9 10 127
 8 Seb Blattered Cod          Gavin Ward      54.3 11 126
 9 Moreton Rovers             Edgar Rayner    54.6 16 122
10 Old Malcolm Academicals    Malcolm Pratt   54.8  5 122
11 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   52.2 11 119
12 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  53.2 15 106
13 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    55.0 -2 105
14 The Flying Geese           Mandy Noble     53.9  7 104
15 Ali McMoist                Alison Faulkner 54.9  2 102
16 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     52.0 11  96
17 Which Team                 Rachel Jones    53.3  1  95
18 Real Mcdrid                Craig McHugh    51.5  8  83
19 Moanchester United         Alex Blundell   54.9  5  81
20 Oak Hamsters               Steve Tierney   51.3 13  80
21 It's a Snickers FC         Ashley Keeler   49.6  2  60
22 Bad Wolf United            Karyn Meaden    53.7 -2  52


                              Week's Average Points     7
                              Total Average Points    110
---

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T r a n s f e r s   a n d   s t u f f
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RS-TBOY
-------------------
   From: Richard Beecroft 
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: Subs

Chairman ,

Crazy Changes, Crazy

OUT
3 245   FB  C Azpilicueta     CHE   4.6
5 302   CB  L Koscielny       ARS   4.5
6 558   MF  D Payet           WH    4.0
11 624   ST  A Sanchez         ARS   7.5

IN
280 FB A Kolarov     MC   £4.6
342 CB C Smalling    MU   £4.3
719 ST R Lukaku      EVE  £6.8
516 MF R Barkley     EVE  £4.1

Kind Regards

Rick

=============================
After deadline...

Bad Wolf United
-------------------
   From: Karyn Meaden
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: Karyn's goalie sub


Hi Mr [Chair],

Can you please subsitute Howard for the Southampton keeper for Karyn

139 GK T Howard      EVE  £3.8           5   3


Cheers


=============================

Week10 & 11: Grieving for the Brodge.

Time's up, Mr Brendans.  Get out.

Rumour has it that these are troubled times over at Livercoolio HQ.  The Bright New Dawn that was The Brodge [a.k.a. Rodger Brendans] at Liverpool has turned into an afternoon of muddy, slushy disappointment.  Chin up though, Mr Big Fan Bielby.  The German's are coming to save the day.  At least Herr Klopp is a tad more entertaining than Mr Brendans in front of the Match of the Day cameras.

And that was reason enough to get rid of him in our book.  But how is the BRuss coping at the helm of Livercoolio?

Well according to close colleague and former friend Rick Beecroft [RS-TBoy],

"He thinks he’s bearing up ok… Showing no signs of weakness... in conversation but it’s a ‘press conference mask’. Given the fact he’s subbed half of his squad already… we know there are grass root problems at Livercoolio HQ.  First year we've not had a tenner on it and look how it shows... Brodge had to go, Russ reckons he should have had more time – more time to what? Lose more weight?"

...a stinging assessment for sure.  And one that was made before it was revealed that Russell Bielby is this week's Manager of the Week.

Yes. Livercoolio scored a Russnificent 24 points. In view of the fact that Mr Bielby didn't win a single Manager of the Week certificate on his way to winning the Championship last season we can't help but think that this minor victory hasn't put the kibosh on this season's 'project' for glory.

He can't make it three seasons in a row can he?

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 54.0 11 100
 2 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    53.9 12  98
 3 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       53.9 16  89
 4 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    55.0  4  89
 5 Seb Blattered Cod          Gavin Ward      54.3 21  81
 6 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         54.8 11  81
 7 Moobchester United         Jon King        54.6 10  77
 8 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  54.7  7  73
 9 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    53.9 16  71
10 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   53.9 16  68
11 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  54.7 24  68
12 Ali McMoist                Alison Faulkner 54.9  1  67
13 The Flying Geese           Mandy Noble     53.9 21  66
14 Moreton Rovers             Edgar Rayner    54.6  4  66
15 Old Malcolm Academicals    Malcolm Pratt   54.8 10  65
16 Moanchester United         Alex Blundell   54.9  8  56
17 Which Team                 Rachel Jones    53.3  5  54
18 Bad Wolf United            Karyn Meaden    54.8  3  41
19 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     53.5 12  38
20 Real Mcdrid                Craig McHugh    52.2 13  36
21 It's a Snickers FC         Ashley Keeler   49.6  9  34
22 Oak Hamsters               Steve Tierney   51.3 16  16


                              Week's Average Points    11
                              Total Average Points     65

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T r a n s f e r s   a n d   s t u f f
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Irishpool
-------------------
   From: Mike Smears
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com

Honourable Mr President

How can I fail to respond to your hint? Let Aguero be recruited. Not being one of those who think all ills are cured by sacking the manager [no, I don’t agree with their decision] I shall shift the team around.

So, Young Man, please be so good as to effect the following transfers. I do not wish Irishpool to linger in this lowly position any longer.

IN
492 Milner
684 Aguero

OUT
543 Oscar
738 Benteke.

And I shall expect an elevated league position in future

Thank you as always, 

Bombastic from Bassett


=============================

Irishpool
-------------------
   From: Mike Smears
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com

Dear Mr Presidente

OOps!

What are the rules - may i change my mind about my proposed transfer as we haven’t reached Monday?

Hearing that Aguero has been injured, may I withdraw my change, thus:

OUT
684 Aguero

IN
624 Sanchez

Yours humbly (for once)

Bedraggled of Bassett


----------------------
Chairman responds:
That's more like it.  Bit of pleading goes a long way.

=============================

Oak Hamsters
-------------------
   From: Steve Tierney
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: Late, Late, Late

Hey [HRH Chairman]

Here is my ridiculously LATE LATE LATE team for the league. If I don’t come last it will be an achievement. Plus – your spreadsheet is bust...so i had to cobble it together...if there are any errors, it’s not my fault.

So, presenting to you.....OAK HAMSTERS

POSITION PIN NAME TEAM VALUE
GK 121 J Hart MC 4.3
FB 206 Monreal ARS 4.3
FB 270 Darmian MU 4.3
CB 384 Dier TOT 4.1
CB 336 Kompany MC 4.6
MF 575 Walcott ARS 5.4
MF 516 Barkley EVE 4.1
MF 445 Mahrez LEI 3.8
MF 836 De BruyneMC 5.4
ST 633 Pelle SOT 6.5
ST 614 Vardy LEI 5.6

Good luck to me x

----------------------
Chairman responds:
Spreadsheet is not bust.  It can't be.  You're obviously a bit mad.  Welcome to the OFFL.

=============================

Oak Hamsters
-------------------
   From: Steve Tierney
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com

Oops - clearly 3 X man city players doesn't work.

Can you take out de bruyne 836 and pop in

465 Mane SOT

I think I'm legal

----------------------
Chairman responds:
You'll never be fully legal.

=============================

Neil's Diamonds
-------------------
   From: Neil McConaghy
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: Transfers Please.

Dear Chairman

I have returned from my brief spell of (successfully) coaching the English rugby team out of contention for the World Cup. With those targets met, I am able to return all of my attention to Neil's Diamonds and I see that I need to make some changes:

Out:
117  F Forster   
322  P Jones 
483  J Shelvey   

In:
114 H Lloris
331 S Dann
465 S Mane

Thanking you

Mr Diamonds

----------------------
Chairman responds:
Well, congratulations.  May you repeat your losing feat for the Diamonds.  Looks like you're trying very hard at least.  Dann?  Lloris?  Madness.

=============================