Week 42: Wasn't supposed to happen

Wasn't supposed to happen

This week (42) wasn't supposed to happen.  The postponed Premiership game between Manchester United and Bournemouth had to be played in this week.  And somewhat poetically, it has resulted in the bottom two managers sharing the Manager of the Week certificate.  Yes, Wooden Spooners Alex Blundell and Ashley Keeler follow last week's third from bottom Karyn Meaden's MotW certificate win by scoring 5 points each.  Moanchester United and It's A Snickers FC were by far the worst two teams in the OFFL this season... but they are the best, by far, this week.

Congratulations you two.

Commiserations also.

Manager of the Week Certificate Wins
------------------------------------
6:
  Minty Colquhoun
4:
  Nick Reed
3:
  Alun Edwards
  Dave Clayton
  Edgar Rayner
  Guy Harewood
  Neil McConaghy
  Russell Bielby
2:
  Craig McHugh
  Gavin Ward
  Mike Smears
  Smasher
1:
  Alex Blundell
  Alison Faulkner
  Ashley Keeler
  Jon King
  Karyn Meaden
  Rachel Jones
  Rick Beecroft
  Steve Tierney

Malcolm, Mandy?  Never mind.


The End.


T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 51.6  0 446
 2 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    53.5  0 400
 3 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  53.1  0 397
 4 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       53.9  0 388
 5 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         53.1  0 381
 6 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    54.0  0 379
 7 Moobchester United         Jon King        54.4  0 372
 8 Moreton Rovers             Edgar Rayner    54.6  0 348
 9 Ali McMoist                Alison Faulkner 51.1  0 347
10 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   50.9  0 345

11 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  53.3  0 338
12 Real Mcdrid                Craig McHugh    53.7  0 335
13 Old Malcolm Academicals    Malcolm Pratt   54.8  0 329
14 The Flying Geese           Mandy Noble     52.9  0 328
15 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    50.6  0 325
16 Oak Hamsters               Steve Tierney   51.6  0 319
17 Seb Blattered Cod          Gavin Ward      52.0  0 303
18 Which Team                 Rachel Jones    53.3  0 296
19 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     50.0  0 288
20 Bad Wolf United            Karyn Meaden    54.1  0 248
21 Moanchester United         Alex Blundell   54.9  5 238
22 It's a Snickers FC         Ashley Keeler   51.7  5 221


                              Week's Average Points     0
                              Total Average Points    335
---

Week 41: Season Finale

Some say it was a surprise

OFFICE FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE CHAMPIONS 2014/2015
Minty's Minions, managed by Minty Colquhoun on a score of 446 points

OFFICE FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE RUNNERS UP 2014/2015
Com-a ma mau papa com-a mau, managed by Guy Harewood on a score of 400 points

Well there we have it. It's official.  At last.  The lame beast that was 'OFFL 2015/2016' has finally been shot through the temporal bone and put out of its misery.  Indeed, Minty Colquhoun has wiped the floor with the rest of the competition - an amazing margin of 46 points has claimed her first ever Office Fantasy League Championship. And it was a lead that had established itself some weeks ago, wasn't it?  Yes.

Congratulations lovely lady.  This is a fully deserved victory.

In the far distance, behind Minty's Minions' lunge for the line, limps Guy Harewood's disastrously monikered Com-a ma mau papa com-a mau.  Livercoolio failed to overtake the 2006 OFFL Champion by just 3 points as Mr Harewood makes it to 400 points and secures the Runners Up position for 2015/2016.

Manager of the Week, and finally securing her twentieth place in the league, is Karyn Meaden.  Her Bad Wolf United scooped 24 points.  Congratulations Ma'am, may this be incentive enough for you to rejoin us next season.

========
OFFL Cup
--------
Since rebuilding his team after the OFFL Championship winning side of 2003, Rick Beecroft has come close to repeating that league success thrice, as runners up in 2009, 2010 and 2015.  Rick's cup successes, however, have been limited to defeated finalists in 2014.

And his luck hasn't changed this year...

==============
OFFL Cup FINAL
--------------
RESULT

        Inter Milandrover  6 v 0  RS-TBOY
                  Smasher         Rick Beecroft

Yes, the Louis Van Goaal biography goes to Smasher for going one better than being 2001's defeated finalist and winning the OFFL Cup for the first time ever.  What's that?  The Inter Milandrover manager has generously decided to hand the prize to uber Man United fan Moobchester United?  Yes, recent father and current successful-proposer-of-marriage Jon King will have hours of precious bedtime reading in between trips to the cot of a screaming infant.  Congratulations all round, Sir.  But especially on the receiving of the Louis Van Goaal biography.

And so here is the information that we all wish we had 42 weeks ago...

Top Scoring Players
   PIN Pos Name            Club Value  Pts
-------------------------------------------
    138 ST J Vardy         LEI  £ 5.6    90
    132 ST H Kane          TOT  £ 7.4    81
    806 ST S Aguero        MC   £ 8.4    80
    111 MF R Mahrez        LEI  £ 3.8    73
    112 ST R Lukaku        EVE  £ 6.8    68
    851 ST O Giroud        ARS  £ 7.2    60
    137 ST O Ighalo        WAT  £ 5.6    58
    152 ST T Deeney        WAT  £ 5.8    57
    148 MF M Ozil          ARS  £ 5.5    56
    151 FB H Bellerin      ARS  £ 4.2    52
    807 MF D Payet         WH   £ 4.0    51
    139 ST G Pelle         SOT  £ 6.5    51
    166 MF D Tadic         SOT  £ 4.2    50
    109 MF C Eriksen       TOT  £ 4.9    50
    126 MF D Alli          TOT  £ 3.5    50
    106 ST D Costa         CHE  £ 7.8    50


Best Value for Money, [Points per Pound]
   PIN Pos Name            Club Value  Pts   Pts/£
-------------------------------------------------------
    102 MF R Mahrez        LEI  £ 3.8    73  19.21
    138 ST J Vardy         LEI  £ 5.6    90  16.07
    132 MF D Alli          TOT  £ 3.5    50  14.29
    806 FB C Fuchs         LEI  £ 3.5    48  13.71
    111 MF D Payet         WH   £ 4.0    51  12.75
    112 FB H Bellerin      ARS  £ 4.2    52  12.38
    851 MF M Arnautovic    STO  £ 3.8    47  12.37
    137 CB R Huth          LEI  £ 3.5    42  12.00
    152 MF D Tadic         SOT  £ 4.2    50  11.90
    148 MF S Mane          SOT  £ 4.3    49  11.40
    151 FB D Simpson       LEI  £ 3.3    37  11.21
    807 CB T Alderweireld  TOT  £ 4.2    47  11.19
    139 MF G Wijnaldum     NEW  £ 4.1    45  10.98
    166 ST H Kane          TOT  £ 7.4    81  10.95
    109 CB W Morgan        LEI  £ 3.5    38  10.86
    126 ST O Ighalo        WAT  £ 5.6    58  10.36
    106 MF R Barkley       EVE  £ 4.1    42  10.24
    169 MF C Eriksen       TOT  £ 4.9    50  10.20
    899 MF M Ozil          ARS  £ 5.5    56  10.18


Top Scoring Goalkeepers
   PIN Pos Name            Club Value  Pts
-------------------------------------------
    122 GK P Cech          ARS  £ 4.2    35
    216 GK K Schmeichel    LEI  £ 3.4    32
    234 GK D De Gea        MU   £ 4.1    31
    205 GK J Hart          MC   £ 4.3    29
    251 GK H Lloris        TOT  £ 3.9    29


Top Scoring Full Backs
   PIN Pos Name            Club Value  Pts
-------------------------------------------
    151 FB H Bellerin      ARS  £ 4.2    52
    108 FB C Fuchs         LEI  £ 3.5    48
    103 FB N Monreal       ARS  £ 4.3    42
    197 FB K Walker        TOT  £ 4.0    38
    114 FB D Simpson       LEI  £ 3.3    37
    828 FB D Rose          TOT  £ 4.1    34
    206 FB B Sagna         MC   £ 4.3    33
    236 FB A Kolarov       MC   £ 4.6    33
    230 FB M Darmian       MU   £ 4.3    32


Top Scoring Centre Backs
   PIN Pos Name            Club Value  Pts
-------------------------------------------
    107 CB T Alderweireld  TOT  £ 4.2    47
    118 CB L Koscielny     ARS  £ 4.5    43
    110 CB R Huth          LEI  £ 3.5    42
    141 CB C Smalling      MU   £ 4.3    40
    896 CB E Dier          TOT  £ 4.1    39
    865 CB W Morgan        LEI  £ 3.5    38
    277 CB V Kompany       MC   £ 4.6    30


Top Scoring Midfielders
   PIN Pos Name            Club Value  Pts
-------------------------------------------
    111 MF R Mahrez        LEI  £ 3.8    73
    148 MF M Ozil          ARS  £ 5.5    56
    807 MF D Payet         WH   £ 4.0    51
    166 MF D Tadic         SOT  £ 4.2    50
    109 MF C Eriksen       TOT  £ 4.9    50
    126 MF D Alli          TOT  £ 3.5    50
    169 MF S Mane          SOT  £ 4.3    49
    121 MF R Firmino       LIV  £ 4.8    48
    189 MF M Arnautovic    STO  £ 3.8    47
    895 MF G Wijnaldum     NEW  £ 4.1    45
    117 MF R Barkley       EVE  £ 4.1    42
    120 MF G Sigurdsson    SWA  £ 4.6    41


Top Scoring Strikers
   PIN Pos Name            Club Value  Pts
-------------------------------------------
    138 ST J Vardy         LEI  £ 5.6    90
    132 ST H Kane          TOT  £ 7.4    81
    806 ST S Aguero        MC   £ 8.4    80
    112 ST R Lukaku        EVE  £ 6.8    68
    851 ST O Giroud        ARS  £ 7.2    60
    137 ST O Ighalo        WAT  £ 5.6    58
    152 ST T Deeney        WAT  £ 5.8    57
    139 ST G Pelle         SOT  £ 6.5    51
    106 ST D Costa         CHE  £ 7.8    50
    899 ST A Sanchez       ARS  £ 7.5    49
    125 ST J Defoe         SUN  £ 5.8    47
    147 ST A Ayew          SWA  £ 6.1    46
    119 ST A Martial       MU   £ 6.9    43

So that's it and, with enormous thanks for your contribution, we say farewell to the 2015/2016 season [CUE MONTAGE OF SEASON'S HIGHLIGHTS]. You've all been marvellous [yes, all of you].

Happy Birthday to Mr Nick Reed - a fine finish to leave your Guess Hughton fourth.  Champions League-worthy stuff indeed.  As soon as you picked your team it practically drove itself. [DYSWIDT?]

May Euro 2016 be wonderful.

Ciao for now.

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 51.6  9 446
 2 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    53.5  4 400
 3 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  53.1  8 397
 4 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       53.9 14 388
 5 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         53.1  6 381
 6 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    54.0  2 379
 7 Moobchester United         Jon King        54.4  2 372
 8 Moreton Rovers             Edgar Rayner    54.6 14 348
 9 Ali McMoist                Alison Faulkner 51.1 14 347
10 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   50.9  0 345
11 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  53.3  1 338
12 Real Mcdrid                Craig McHugh    53.7  4 335
13 Old Malcolm Academicals    Malcolm Pratt   54.8 14 329
14 The Flying Geese           Mandy Noble     52.9 15 328
15 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    50.6  1 325
16 Oak Hamsters               Steve Tierney   51.6 10 319
17 Seb Blattered Cod          Gavin Ward      52.0  6 303
18 Which Team                 Rachel Jones    53.3 11 296
19 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     50.0  1 288
20 Bad Wolf United            Karyn Meaden    54.1 24 248
21 Moanchester United         Alex Blundell   54.9 12 233
22 It's a Snickers FC         Ashley Keeler   51.7 11 216


                              Week's Average Points     8
                              Total Average Points    334


---

Week 40: Poor Guy

Poor Guy (far left)

You can stop banging on about it now. Yes, you know who you are.... You've won it. You were underdogs. Nobody expected it. We get it. 

Now belt up, pipe down, pack it in and leave it out.

It also means that everyone else is struggling to find something meaningful to get excited about for the end of the season. And that's the remit we've accepted for this edition of Studmarks. Let's give it a try, shall we?

7 points separate Fourth from Seventh meaning that that Fourth place is up for grabs. And can Eleventh-placed Ali McMoist slide themselves into the top ten? And if so, at whose expense? Edgar Rayner's? Neil McConaghy's? And is Karyn Meaden going to hold on to that Twentieth place, while Alex Blundell is seedily breathing down her beautifully-formed and Mallyable neck.

Oh yes, there's Guy Harewood, look... picking up his Manager of the Week certificate for steering his Com-a ma mau papas to a score of 12 points this week. Oh, hang on, there's no need for that... he's looked down at the unimpressed audience, who really aren't paying much attention, and has let the certificate drop to the floor. Exit stage left.

Poor guy that Guy. Even he knows that to overhaul Ms Minty's Minty's Minions' mighty lead of 41 points - in one week with a quarter of his line-up being the same as hers - is probably not going to happen. Unless most of his different players score a hatrick each.

Could happen.

It won't.

Cheer yourself up, Mr Harewood, by looking forward to the glamour and glitz of the...

========
OFFL Cup
--------
FINAL, in play.

        Inter Milandrover  v  RS-TBOY
                  Smasher     Rick Beecroft

The two finalists share 3 players: Smalling, Barkley and Mahrez. The difference will therefore come from the following...

Inter MilandroverClub  Value  RS-TBOY           ClubValue

----------------------------  ----------------------------
138 GK P Cech    ARS    4.2   121 GK J Hart     MC    4.3
243 FB C Fuchs   LEI    3.5   226 FB N Clyne    LIV   4.1
229 FB B IvanovicCHE    5.0   280 FB A Kolarov  MC    4.6
356 CB T AlderweiTOT    4.2   331 CB S Dann     CP    3.7
555 MF R Firmino LIV    4.8   575 MF M Ozil     ARS   5.5
558 MF D Payet   WH     4.0   812 MF D Alli     TOT   3.5
684 ST S Aguero  MC     8.4   603 ST H Kane     TOT   7.4
719 ST R Lukaku  EVE    6.8   614 ST J Vardy    LEI   5.6

Anyone's bet this one. Recent form has RS-TBOY in the ascendancy. Maybe.

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 52.4  8 437
 2 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    53.5 12 396
 3 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  53.1  7 389
 4 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    54.0  5 377
 5 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         53.1  4 375
 6 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       53.9  4 374
 7 Moobchester United         Jon King        54.4  1 370
 8 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   50.9 11 345
 9 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  53.3  8 337
10 Moreton Rovers             Edgar Rayner    54.6  3 334
11 Ali McMoist                Alison Faulkner 51.1  6 333
12 Real Mcdrid                Craig McHugh    53.7  3 331
13 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    50.6  5 324
14 Old Malcolm Academicals    Malcolm Pratt   54.8  2 315
15 The Flying Geese           Mandy Noble     52.9  8 313
16 Oak Hamsters               Steve Tierney   51.6  2 309
17 Seb Blattered Cod          Gavin Ward      52.0  2 297
18 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     50.0  5 287
19 Which Team                 Rachel Jones    53.3  3 285
20 Bad Wolf United            Karyn Meaden    54.1  2 224
21 Moanchester United         Alex Blundell   54.9  4 221
22 It's a Snickers FC         Ashley Keeler   51.7  2 205


                              Week's Average Points     4
                              Total Average Points    326

-------------------------------------
T r a n s f e r s   a n d   s t u f f
=====================================

Bad Wolf United
-------------------
   From: Karyn Meaden
     To: @Studmarks
Subject: Third from bottom place under threat

Gah! My boys need a good talking to next week.

----------------------
Chairman responds:
Can't it wait till after the season end?   Oh, I see, yes.  Yes they do.  Sorry.

=============================

Minty's Minions
-------------------
   From: Minty Colquhoun
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: 

5000 - 1 may be, but a joy to behold nonetheless! X

Komapny OUT, 391 M Rojo MU IN

Mane OUT, 838 Antonio WH IN

----------------------
Chairman responds:
Indeed, indeed.  1 can only marvel at 1's dominance this season.  Well d'1 you.

DYSWIDT?

Hang on!  Have you just slipped in a couple more transfers?  Give it a rest.

=============================

Week 39: She Thought Her Position Was Secure

This what happens when you make your kit out of velcro

Bad Wolf United's Third From Bottom position is at risk! Both Moanchester United and It's A Snickers scored healthily this week, 13 and 14 points respectively, while Karyn's bad, bad, Bad Wolves only managed a measly 4.  We say again... Bad Wolf United's Third From Bottom position is at risk!

With no such worries are Nick Reed and Craig McHugh.  These two louche gentlemen are sharing this week's Manager of the Week certificate with a week's haul of 17 points.  This pushes Guess Hughton 2 points from getting in to the top five while Craig Guess McHughton's Real Mcdrid is now 2 points from the top ten.

Don't look at Rick Beecroft's OFFL Cup Finalists, RS-TBOY.  He'll think you're looking at his -6.

Oh yeah, Leicester City won the Premiership.  Like Minty's Minions, Leicester City were 5000-1 to win the OFFL League at the start of the season.

========
OFFL Cup
--------
FINAL, to be played in Week 41

        Inter Milandrover  v  RS-TBOY
                  Smasher     Rick Beecroft

These two teams share 3 players: Smalling, Barkley and Mahrez.  The difference will therefore come from the following...

Inter MilandroverClub  Value  RS-TBOY           ClubValue
----------------------------  ----------------------------
138 GK P Cech    ARS    4.2   121 GK J Hart     MC    4.3
243 FB C Fuchs   LEI    3.5   226 FB N Clyne    LIV   4.1
229 FB B IvanovicCHE    5.0   280 FB A Kolarov  MC    4.6
356 CB T AlderweiTOT    4.2   331 CB S Dann     CP    3.7
555 MF R Firmino LIV    4.8   575 MF M Ozil     ARS   5.5
558 MF D Payet   WH     4.0   812 MF D Alli     TOT   3.5
684 ST S Aguero  MC     8.4   603 ST H Kane     TOT   7.4
719 ST R Lukaku  EVE    6.8   614 ST J Vardy    LEI   5.6

To the victor, the book!

---

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 51.6  5 429
 2 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    53.5  5 384
 3 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  53.1  5 382
 4 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    54.0 -2 372
 5 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         53.1  7 371
 6 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       53.9 17 370
 7 Moobchester United         Jon King        54.4  5 369
 8 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   50.9 -6 334
 9 Moreton Rovers             Edgar Rayner    54.6 14 331
10 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  53.3  0 329
11 Real Mcdrid                Craig McHugh    53.7 17 328
12 Ali McMoist                Alison Faulkner 51.1  1 327
13 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    50.6  3 319
14 Old Malcolm Academicals    Malcolm Pratt   54.8  8 313
15 Oak Hamsters               Steve Tierney   51.6 11 307
16 The Flying Geese           Mandy Noble     52.9  1 305
17 Seb Blattered Cod          Gavin Ward      52.0  5 295
18 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     50.0  5 282
19 Which Team                 Rachel Jones    53.3 -1 282
20 Bad Wolf United            Karyn Meaden    54.1  4 222
21 Moanchester United         Alex Blundell   54.9 13 217
22 It's a Snickers FC         Ashley Keeler   51.7 14 203


                              Week's Average Points     5
                              Total Average Points    321
---

Week 38: OFFL Cup Semi-Finals Results

Craig McHugh: closer to Ashley's Bottom than Minty's Top

We, here at Studmarks, are sure you'd agree that it's got to the point, really it has, where this is all becoming just a little bit boring.

Tedious.

A little bit monotonous, in fact.  A fantasy footballing farce.

So here it is: Minty Colquhoun wins the Manager of the Week certificate this week with a large, large, large score of 35 points.  Her Minions have now passed the 400 point mark in the table which leaves them sitting everso Leicester-like and pretty at the top of the table.

Ooh, Look! At the other extremity of the table...  something seems to have woken up Ashley Keeler and his It's A Snickers this week.

Also worthy of note is Craig McHugh's Real Mcdrid.  Not only is their 30 point score the second largest this week but they're also the last team to have a points tally that is closer to the leaders than it is the bottomers.

Did we say that was worthy of note?

Yes, we did.

We were wrong.

========
OFFL Cup
--------
Semi Finals, RESULTS

Radnorshire Tigers 17 v 26   Inter Milandrover
Alun Edwards                           Smasher

RS-TBOY            29 v 24  Moobchester United
Rick Beecroft                         Jon King

So we have a FINAL.  Rick Beecroft's RS-TBOY will take on Smasher's Inter Milandrover.

Commiserations to Alun Edwards and Jon King - particularly to Jon who is a moobingly massive Man U maniac and really, desperately, almost pleadingly wanted the biography on the next ex-manager of Manchester United*.

*There is no evidence to suggest that Mr King actually wants that book at all.  Though we're sure he wouldn't say no.


T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 51.6 35 424
 2 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    53.5 27 379
 3 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  53.1 26 377
 4 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    54.0 25 374
 5 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         53.1 26 364
 6 Moobchester United         Jon King        54.4 24 364
 7 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       53.9 13 353
 8 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   50.9 29 340
 9 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  53.3 22 329
10 Ali McMoist                Alison Faulkner 51.1 22 326
11 Moreton Rovers             Edgar Rayner    54.6 25 317
12 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    50.6 17 316
13 Real Mcdrid                Craig McHugh    53.7 30 311
14 Old Malcolm Academicals    Malcolm Pratt   54.8 28 305
15 The Flying Geese           Mandy Noble     52.9 19 304
16 Oak Hamsters               Steve Tierney   51.6 26 296
17 Seb Blattered Cod          Gavin Ward      52.0  9 290
18 Which Team                 Rachel Jones    53.3 13 283
19 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     50.0 24 277
20 Bad Wolf United            Karyn Meaden    54.1 13 218
21 Moanchester United         Alex Blundell   54.9  3 204
22 It's a Snickers FC         Ashley Keeler   51.7 20 189


                              Week's Average Points    21
                              Total Average Points    315
---

Week 37: Arise Lady Karyn

Karyn Meaden: third from bottom

SHE'S DONE IT!

After languishing at the base of the League Table for so long, Karyn Deborah Meaden has finally hoofed herself up to the lofty position of third [from bottom].

While Karyn's Bad Wolf United's score of 9 was enough to leapfrog the backwards-moving Moanchester United it was not enough to clinch a Manager of the Week certificate.  That honour is shared between Guy Harewood and Neil McConaghy.  Guy's Com-a mawhatsit and Neil's Diamonds both scored 18 points.  This has lifted both teams in the League, Guy into second and Neil into ninth.

And talking of Second Place, only 14 points separate seventh from second.

Meanwhile, the Semi-Finals of the OFFL Cup have commenced.  The OFFL Cup Winner will receive a biography of a Dutch manager who has been favourite for the sack all season - Louis Van Goaaaal.

But which teams are embarrassing themselves with their unashamed clamouring for it?

========
OFFL Cup
--------
Semi Finals, Week 38

Radnorshire Tigers v   Inter Milandrover
Alun Edwards                     Smasher

RS-TBOY            v  Moobchester United
Rick Beecroft                   Jon King


T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 50.6 13 389
 2 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    53.5 18 352
 3 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  53.1 13 351
 4 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    55.0  4 349
 5 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       53.9 10 340
 6 Moobchester United         Jon King        54.4 12 340
 7 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         53.1 12 338
 8 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   52.7 12 311
 9 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  53.3 18 307
10 Ali McMoist                Alison Faulkner 51.1 13 304
11 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    50.6  8 299
12 Moreton Rovers             Edgar Rayner    54.6  8 292
13 The Flying Geese           Mandy Noble     52.9  7 285
14 Seb Blattered Cod          Gavin Ward      52.0  3 281
15 Real Mcdrid                Craig McHugh    53.7 17 281
16 Old Malcolm Academicals    Malcolm Pratt   54.8  7 277
17 Oak Hamsters               Steve Tierney   51.6  9 270
18 Which Team                 Rachel Jones    53.3 15 270
19 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     50.0  6 253
20 Bad Wolf United            Karyn Meaden    54.1  9 205
21 Moanchester United         Alex Blundell   54.9 -1 201
22 It's a Snickers FC         Ashley Keeler   51.7  3 169


                              Week's Average Points     9
                              Total Average Points    293

Week 36: Cup Semi Finals Draw

Bad Wolf's Karyn is 'knocking' on Moanchester Utd's place

Manager of the Week this week is Alison Faulkner whose Ali McMoist scored an impressive 19 points to help themselves climb up three places and into the top ten in the table.

Falling furthest this week is Inter Milandrover, down four places from third into seventh.

And another healthy score from Bad Wolf United, we see. Now knocking on Moanchester Utd's twentieth place.  Fancy.

========
OFFL Cup
--------
Semi Finals, Week 38

Radnorshire Tigers v   Inter Milandrover
Alun Edwards                     Smasher

RS-TBOY            v  Moobchester United
Rick Beecroft                   Jon King

Get your transfers in soon, no - NOW.

Transfers Remaining:
--------------------
Moobchester United 6
RS-TBOY            2
Radnorshire Tigers 0
Inter Milandrover  0

You may now get on with your week.  If you can stand the excitement.

---

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 50.6  7 376
 2 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    55.0  8 345
 3 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  53.1 15 338
 4 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    53.5 11 334
 5 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       53.9 13 330
 6 Moobchester United         Jon King        54.4 16 328
 7 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         52.6  3 326
 8 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   52.7  6 299
 9 Ali McMoist                Alison Faulkner 51.1 19 291
10 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    51.2 15 291
11 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  53.3 14 289
12 Moreton Rovers             Edgar Rayner    54.6  9 284
13 Seb Blattered Cod          Gavin Ward      52.0 12 278
14 The Flying Geese           Mandy Noble     52.9 16 278
15 Old Malcolm Academicals    Malcolm Pratt   54.8  3 270
16 Real Mcdrid                Craig McHugh    53.7 12 264
17 Oak Hamsters               Steve Tierney   51.6  4 261
18 Which Team                 Rachel Jones    53.3  8 255
19 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     50.0  3 247
20 Moanchester United         Alex Blundell   54.9  2 202
21 Bad Wolf United            Karyn Meaden    54.1 14 196
22 It's a Snickers FC         Ashley Keeler   51.7  1 166


                              Week's Average Points     9
                              Total Average Points    284

-----------------------------
T r a n s f e r s   a n d   s t u f f
=============================

Radnorshire Tigers
-------------------
   From: Alun Edwards
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: 

Wow, that was a narrow squeak! I’d better concentrate on the semi-finals and make my final transfer:

OUT 336 CB  V Kompany    MC    4.6    

IN  338 CB P Jagielka    EVE  £4.0    

Aaaaahthenkoo

Ally

----------------------
Chairman responds:
I never did like the Kompany you kept.

=============================

Guess Hughton
-------------------
   From: Nick Reed
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com

Bah. Should be points per value of the squad of players used over the season! Ah well, another year trophy-less. Maybe Hughton's real chargers can do better...
Nick

----------------------
Chairman responds:
[THUMBING TOWARDS THE DOOR] Just get yer coat, you.

=============================

Inter Milandrover
-------------------
   From: Smasher
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: 

It's about the Cup though isn't it?

356 Alderwiereld in for 334 Wollscheid


----------------------
Chairman responds:
No, not really.

=============================