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| OMG Chairman mingling at his local Waitrose |
It's not often that Our Most Gracious Chairman mixes with the riff raff at his local Waitrose. He has loftier ambitions for his grocery shopping and tends to tolerate the retailer as a way of keeping the New Money out of Lidl. Sometimes, however, he is forced to abandon his petty purchasing principles in order to mingle with the muggles - something akin to what Russell Bielby has decided to do this week... indeed, it is an obligatory pleasure to welcome back last season's OFFL Champion - we're honoured to have him walk amongst us and allow us the experience of multiple boo & hiss repression.
With six other OFFL Championship-winning Managers competing in the League [so far] this season, OFFL HQ commentators are expecting high quality managerial manoeuvrings.
And on that note, there have been some last minute rejiggings and re-jostlings. Consequently, this has have seen last week's Manager of the Week Certificate Winner, Minty Colquhoun, slump to ninth in the table. A resubmission of her team has meant an interesting new future for Minty's Men [in spite of the loss of last week's table-topping, MotW certificate-winning 2 points]. All of last week's Managers with teams on less than zero have had their teams resubmitted enabling them to start afresh while others are still joining the league.
It all makes sense to someone somewhere. [EYES SHIFT TO A CHAIRMAN-SHAPED SILHOUETTE AT THE BACK OF THE ROOM]
Manager of the Week is Neil McConaghy - his Diamonds netted a marvellous 16 points putting themselves firmly at the top of the pile.
We say 'Firmly'. We mean 'Temporarily'.
T h e T a b l e Value Points Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot -------------------------------------------------------- 1 Neil's Diamonds Neil McConaghy 54.7 16 17 2 Pyeators Dave Clayton 54.9 11 11 3 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 54.3 8 9 4 Ali McMoist Alison Faulkner 54.9 8 9 5 Bad Wolf United Karyn Meaden 54.8 7 7 6 Moreton Rovers Edgar Rayner 54.6 6 6 7 Old Malcolm Academicals Malcolm Pratt 54.8 6 6 8 Guess Hughton Nick Reed 54.6 3 3 9 Minty's Minions Minty Colquhoun 54.0 31 010 Seb Blattered Cod Gavin Ward 54.3 4 011 Moobchester United Jon King 54.6 17 012 Inter Milandrover Smasher 54.9 22 013 RS-TBOY Rick Beecroft 54.9 15 014 Moanchester United Alex Blundell 54.9 -1 015 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 55.0 23 0
Week's Average Points 11 Total Average Points 4---
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T r a n s f e r s a n d s t u f f
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Seb Blattered Cod
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From: Gavin Ward
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Ack! Where'd the week go. I carefully planned a team ahead of the season and waited in the wings only to miss not just the dummy run 1st week but to also the opportunity to score negative points in the first scoring week. Please find attached the newly arranged Seb Blattered Cods football team¦
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Chairman responds:
You're welcome.
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Moobchester United
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From: Jonathan King
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Morning Sir,
Here is my team attached. Hoping for a better season this time around.
Regards,
Jon
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Chairman responds:
I should think so too. Fourteenth last season. Plenty of room for improvement there. Thirteen, in fact.
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Livercoolio
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From: Russell Bielby
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: TEAM LIVERCOOLIO
Bonjour Monsieur Offl Chairman !!
OFFL Commitment is not everything for most people… whilst cooking in the burning sunshine on the French coast of La Rochelle… mais non… pour moi… SADLY… IT IS… !!
So… here is Team Livercoolio unveiled… what a rum looking lot !!
[Team enclosed]
Nuts I know… but you gotta start somewhere.
Au Revoir and Good Luck Fellow Footballigans !!
The Brodge aka The Ruselby
Ya Friendly Scouse :D
P.S. Can’t believe you tricked us by saying the scoring starts after the 2nd Samedi !! Unbelievable !!
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Chairman responds:
As it was such a g'dawful week for OFFL scoring last week, it was decided that the managers who had made the effort to submit their team for the beginning of the season deserve to keep their points. "Goalhanger managers", like those who suddenly decide that Vincent Kompany is a good idea to have in their defence for example, will have to make do with playing catch up. Didn't seem to do Livercoolio any harm last season, and I'm sure it won't this season.
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Com-a ma mau papa com-a mau mau
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From: Guy Harewood
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
OK Sonny [Chairman],
Here it is!!!!
[Team Enclosed]
This season I shall refer to myself as Ray Moan.
Love,
Ray
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Chairman responds:
I look forward to fully understanding the reason behind this identity adjustment.
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It's a Snickers FC
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From: Ashley Keeler
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject:
Dear Chairman,
I'm not sure I'm ever going to have a handle on this football lark.
As per most seasons I suspect I'm several weeks late but I won't let that dampen my spirits.
I'm a shoe in for the double.
Here we go then.
All the best,
Ashley Keeler
It's a Snickers FC
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Chairman responds:
Dry spirits and a delusional sense of renewed enthusiasm. Perfect pre-season prep.
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The Flying Geese
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From: Mandy Noble
To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: The Flying Geese15_16.xls
Hi, am I too late to join in?
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Chairman responds:
As long as you stop those Bielbys from winning anything you'll never be too late to join.
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