Week 27: Craig to the McRescHugh

When the creative juices begin to run a bit thin, we here at Studmarks tend to loosen our ties, put up our feet and sip loudly at a cup of locally-sourced crappuccino while listening to a soul-destroying phone-in on Radio 2.

If suicidal impulses don't develop from this point we're fairly confident we'll eventually get through it with our heads held high, our upper lip stiffened and our clothes still all on.  However, this week we were rescued from this Russian Roulette-like routine by Mr Craig McHugh.

Along with his final five transfers, Craig sent along a link to some video footage showcasing some rather marvellous football fans offering their team genuine help to score a goal.



In the meantime, the OFFL has had its season's highest weekly score.  Now only one point away from the 300 point mark, Minty's Minty's Minions have earned Minty the Manager of the Week certificate by scoring 53 points.  Yes, no sooner had Nick Reed's Guess Hughton starting hacking back her lead at the top of the table Miss Colquhoun thunders in another mammothian hit rate.

53 points,  Foof.

Oddly, with a score of 18, Craig McHugh's score is the week's lowest but thanks for the video anyway mush.

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 50.6 53 299
 2 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       53.9 33 265
 3 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  53.1 44 254
 4 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    55.0 29 253
 5 Moobchester United         Jon King        54.4 39 248
 6 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         54.7 23 248
 7 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    53.5 43 245
 8 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   52.7 32 236
 9 Moreton Rovers             Edgar Rayner    54.6 37 231
10 Ali McMoist                Alison Faulkner 51.1 39 228
11 Seb Blattered Cod          Gavin Ward      52.0 39 224
12 The Flying Geese           Mandy Noble     52.9 32 219
13 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    48.8 34 216
14 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  53.3 40 214
15 Old Malcolm Academicals    Malcolm Pratt   54.8 24 212
16 Which Team                 Rachel Jones    53.3 26 207
17 Oak Hamsters               Steve Tierney   51.6 38 201
18 Moanchester United         Alex Blundell   54.9 27 188
19 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     50.3 42 186
20 Real Mcdrid                Craig McHugh    51.5 18 186
21 It's a Snickers FC         Ashley Keeler   51.7 34 149
22 Bad Wolf United            Karyn Meaden    54.1 30 133


                              Week's Average Points    34
                              Total Average Points    220

-----------------------------
T r a n s f e r s   a n d   s t u f f
=============================

Inter Milandrover
-------------------
   From: Smasher
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: Re-Adjustment

G Johnson OUT
229 Ivanovic IN

D Silva OUT
555 Firmino IN

----------------------
Chairman responds:
Everybody's laughing at you.

=============================

Real Mcdrid
-------------------
   From: Craig McHugh
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com

Mr Chairman - Please accept see my last 5 transfers - Homework done!!

Out:
121 J Hart
336 V Kompany
425 A Ramsey
624 A Sanchez
645 A Ayew

In:
138 P Cech 
356 T Alderweireld
575 M Ozil
684 S Aguero
603 H Kane

Hopefully they won’t be needing this - http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=b03_1345152152

Take care sir…
Craig McHugh
----------------------
Chairman responds:
Thank you for the link.  I *actually* laughed out loud.  Actually.

=============================

Week 25 & 26: It'll Never Happen?

Leicester City/Minty Colquhoun will not win the Premier League/OFFL Championship

While Jamie Vardy's goal against Liverpool is still playing in a loop within the creaking walls of a stuporously unresponsive Chairman's hollow mind we are having to knock our own noggins to negotiate the very real possibility of Leicester City being Premiership Champions.

"It'll never happen" has become "It'll never happen?"

And so we find the Office Fantasy Football League asking similar questions.  Can Minty Colquhoun win the League?  Not if Nick Reed's Guess Hughton have a say in it.  Indeed, Mr Reed has notched another mark on the Manager of the Week bedpost after scoring 21 points and slices Minty's Minions' lead down to 14 points.

"It bloody well COULD happen you know!"

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 51.5  7 246
 2 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       53.9 21 232
 3 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         54.8  9 225
 4 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    55.0 11 224
 5 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  54.7  9 210
 6 Moobchester United         Jon King        54.9  5 209
 7 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   52.7  1 204
 8 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    53.5 11 202
 9 Moreton Rovers             Edgar Rayner    54.6 18 194
10 Ali McMoist                Alison Faulkner 51.1 20 189
11 Old Malcolm Academicals    Malcolm Pratt   54.8 14 188
12 The Flying Geese           Mandy Noble     52.9 13 187
13 Seb Blattered Cod          Gavin Ward      52.0  1 185
14 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    50.7  8 182
15 Which Team                 Rachel Jones    53.3 15 181
16 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  53.2 -2 174
17 Real Mcdrid                Craig McHugh    51.5  3 168
18 Oak Hamsters               Steve Tierney   51.6  5 163
19 Moanchester United         Alex Blundell   54.9 16 161
20 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     50.3 11 144
21 It's a Snickers FC         Ashley Keeler   51.7  0 115
22 Bad Wolf United            Karyn Meaden    54.1 16 103


                              Week's Average Points     9
                              Total Average Points    185

-----------------------------
T r a n s f e r s   a n d   s t u f f
=============================

Guess Hughton
-------------------
   From: Nick Reed
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: MotW

Seems I bet on black and it came up black – up into the Champions League slots!
Woot!
Nick

----------------------
Chairman responds:
Yeah, alright.  Nobody likes a bragger.  Unless it's a new brand of choclate bar... "only the crumbliest braggiest Chocolate."

=============================

Neil's Diamonds
-------------------
   From: Neil McConaghy
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: Last of the transfers.

Last roll of the dice for this year. Please approve and process these changes kind sir:

In
---
640 ST O Ighalo      WAT  £5.6
684 ST S Aguero      MC   £8.4
455 MF C Eriksen     TOT  £4.9 
555 MF R Firmino     LIV  £4.8

Out
---
738   ST  C Benteke         LIV   6.6
624   ST  A Sanchez         ARS   7.5 
477   MF  R Sterling        MC    5.2
465   MF  S Mane            SOT   4.3 

Thanking you


----------------------
Chairman responds:
A fine incoming foursome. And transferred with such efficient panache.  Turns me on if I'm honest.

=============================

Moobchester United
-------------------
   From: Jonathan King
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: 

Time for some transfers.

Out
Stones 315
Hazard 517
Benteke 738

In
Koscielny 302
Ozil 575
Lukaku 719

Cheers
Jon

----------------------
Chairman responds:
You know Mr Moobchester, you're in with a chance this season.  Not much of one but you're still in with a chance.

=============================

Radnorshire Tigers
-------------------
   From: Alun Edwards
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: 

Hi, belated happy birthday greetings!

Bandwagon jumping, me!?

Radnorshire Tigers:

OUT:
836   MF  K De Bruyne       MC    5.4    

IN:
812 MF D Alli        TOT  £3.5         

I thenk you, Ally

----------------------
Chairman responds:
Ally brings in Alli. Poetry.

=============================

Livercoolio
-------------------
   From: Russell Bielby
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: LIVERCOOLIO TRANSFERS PLEASE

DEADLINE DAY !!! Arrrgghhhhhhh !!!

OUT
===
CB 336 V Kompany   CB MC  £4.6
MF 517 E Hazard    MF CHE £6.8
MF 836 K De Bruyne MF MC  £5.4
ST 843 A Martial   ST MU  £6.9


IN
==
CB 384 E Dier    CB TOT £4.1
MF 516 R Barkley MF EVE £4.1
MF 575 M Ozil    MF ARS £5.5
ST 684 S Aguero  ST MC  £8.4

COWABUNGA !!

Kind Regards
Russell

----------------------
Chairman responds:
Defending Champions Livercoolio are the OFFL's answer to the Premiership's Chelsea.  Which is a shame.

=============================

Minty's Minions
-------------------
   From: Minty Colquhoun
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: Keeping up the pressure

OUT
MF Mane SOT
MF Coutinho LIV

IN
812 Alli TOT
555 Firmino LIV

----------------------
Chairman responds:
Yeah, Coutinho didn't really work out for you did he?

=============================

Week 23 & 24: A Terrible Show

A terrible show.

Manager of the Week this week is, of course... Nick Reed whose Guess Hughton scored a massive 28 points.  And Nick joins us live via Satellite from Las Vegas where he's selling second hand self-driving cars... Hello Nick?  How do you feel about winning this week's Manager of the Week certificate?

Hello Nick?  Nick?

I'm sorry we seem to have lost him.

In order to fill the dead air while we find some library footage of a trombone I shall distractingly ask if the January transfer window has brought any intriguing new footballing talent into your team yet?

No?

This is a terrible show.

Cut to the music...

Here's Loopy's new single, 'Gallery of You'
https://soundcloud.com/loopytheband/gallery-of-you/

T h e   T a b l e

                                            Value Points

   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot

 --------------------------------------------------------

 1 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 51.5  7 239

 2 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         54.8 15 216

 3 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    55.0 25 213

 4 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       53.9 28 211

 5 Moobchester United         Jon King        54.9 15 204

 6 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   52.7  8 203

 7 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  54.7 10 201

 8 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    53.5 13 191

 9 Seb Blattered Cod          Gavin Ward      52.0  7 184

10 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  53.2  1 176

11 Moreton Rovers             Edgar Rayner    54.6 18 176

12 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    50.7 11 174

13 The Flying Geese           Mandy Noble     52.9 26 174

14 Old Malcolm Academicals    Malcolm Pratt   54.8 13 174

15 Ali McMoist                Alison Faulkner 51.1 17 169

16 Which Team                 Rachel Jones    53.3 13 166

17 Real Mcdrid                Craig McHugh    51.5 19 165

18 Oak Hamsters               Steve Tierney   51.6 12 158

19 Moanchester United         Alex Blundell   54.9 18 145

20 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     50.3 11 133

21 It's a Snickers FC         Ashley Keeler   51.7 17 115

22 Bad Wolf United            Karyn Meaden    54.1 20  87

                              Week's Average Points    14

                              Total Average Points    176

-----------------------------
T r a n s f e r s   a n d   s t u f f
=============================

Inter Milandrover
-------------------
   From: Smasher
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

OUT
228 FB S Coleman
388 CB G McAuley
506 MF T Walcott
843 ST A Martial

IN
282 L Baines FB EVE
334 P Wollscheid CB STO
558 D Payet        MF WH
601 D Costa        ST CHE

Dangerous

----------------------
Chairman responds:
Highly dangerous.  And unexpected.


=============================

Week 22: OFFL Cup Group Stage Results

Gavin Ward and Alun Edwards are the Managers of the Week this week helping their respective Seb Blattered Cod and Radnorshire Tigers through to the next round of the OFFL Cup.  Congratulations both.  18 points each.

But, yes, what of the cup?  Any Oxford/Swansea-type shocks?

Well YES as it happens...

Runaway League Leaders, Minty's Minions CRASH OUT of the OFFL Cup after two weeks' worth of scores.  Minty Colquhoun will not be Doing The Double with her Minions this season in spite of being over 30 points ahead of the chasing pack in the League table.  Minty's miserly score of 5 meagre points last week was only enough to finish 2nd from bottom of Group A, which means She and her wannabe-Champions are OUT.

Oh Yoo Tee spells OUT.

Not through.  Not qualified.  Exited.  You are naturally inconsolable.  We know you had your heart set on that Louis Van Goal biography.

But what of the rest of you?

========
OFFL Cup
--------
First Round Group Stage Results

Group A                       Value Wk21 Wk22 Total
---------------------------------------------------
  Which Team                    53.3  21  13   34
  Seb Blattered Cod             52.0  15  18   33
  The Flying Geese              53.9  16  10   26
  Moobchester United            54.9  19   7   26
  Minty's Minions               51.5  17   5   22   Out
  It's a Snickers FC            51.7  10  10   20   Out

Group B                       Value Wk21 Wk22 Total
---------------------------------------------------
  Radnorshire Tigers            50.7  20  18   38
  Livercoolio                   54.7  14  13   27
  Moreton Rovers                54.6  15   9   24
  Pyeators                      53.7  15   3   18
  Bad Wolf United               54.1   4   9   13   Out
  Irishpool                     50.3   5   7   12   Out

Group C                       Value Wk21 Wk22 Total
---------------------------------------------------
  Guess Hughton                 53.9  28  15   43
  Old Malcolm Academicals       54.8  19  12   31
  Inter Milandrover             54.8  17  10   27
  Oak Hamsters                  51.6  13   8   21
  Real Mcdrid                   51.5  11   5   16   Out

Group D                       Value Wk21 Wk22 Total
---------------------------------------------------
  Neil's Diamonds               53.2  32   8   40
  RS-TBOY                       51.4  25  10   35
  Ali McMoist                   51.1  25   9   34
  Moanchester United            54.9  20  12   32
  Com-a ma mau papa com-a mau   53.5   9   6   15   Out

So there you have it, commiserations to Guy 'Bird is the Word' Harewood, Craig 'Zizou' McHugh, Mike 'Rantathlete' Smears, Karyn 'Prattwoman' Meaden*, Ashley 'Not Again' Keeler and Minty 'What How Come' Colquhoun.  Take comfort from the fact that you're not alone in your total failure to lift the Cup this season.  You can be failures together.

*Congratulations, however, for hitching yourself to manager of Old Malcolm Academicals, Malcolm Pratt, Mrs Pratt.

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 51.5  5 232
 2 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         54.8 10 201
 3 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   51.4 10 195
 4 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  54.7 13 191
 5 Moobchester United         Jon King        54.9  7 189
 6 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    53.7  3 188
 7 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       53.9 15 183
 8 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    53.5  6 178
 9 Seb Blattered Cod          Gavin Ward      52.0 18 177
10 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  53.2  8 175
11 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    50.7 18 163
12 Old Malcolm Academicals    Malcolm Pratt   54.8 12 161
13 Moreton Rovers             Edgar Rayner    54.6  9 158
14 Which Team                 Rachel Jones    53.3 13 153
15 Ali McMoist                Alison Faulkner 51.1  9 152
16 The Flying Geese           Mandy Noble     53.9 10 148
17 Real Mcdrid                Craig McHugh    51.5  5 146
18 Oak Hamsters               Steve Tierney   51.6  8 146
19 Moanchester United         Alex Blundell   54.9 12 127
20 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     50.3  7 122
21 It's a Snickers FC         Ashley Keeler   51.7 10  98
22 Bad Wolf United            Karyn Meaden    54.1  9  67


                              Week's Average Points     9
                              Total Average Points    161

-----------------------------
T r a n s f e r s   a n d   s t u f f
=============================

RS-TBOY
-------------------
   From: Rick Beecroft
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com

Merry New Year chief, hope you had a good one

Sub time

OUT
492  MF  J Milner  LIV  4.2

IN
575  MF  M Ozil    ARS  5.5

Kind Regards

Rick


----------------------
Chairman responds:
Transfer complete.  Not really interesting to note: you still wouldn't be top if you'd had Ozil from the beginning of the season.

=============================

Which Team
-------------------
   From: Rachel Jones
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com

Rayner.. only 9 behind you now!!!

With best regards,
Rachel Jones

----------------------
Chairman responds:
Bants.

=============================

Minty's Minions
-------------------
   From: Minty Colquhoun
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com

I know this is tempting fate, especially as I'm top of the league and yet know nothing about football . . . but can I have Jordan Graham from Wolves on my team please?  I understand from my recent sojourn in the West Midlands that they beat Brighton 1 - 0 (away) which seemed to excite the entire household!

Lovely.

----------------------
Chairman responds:
Congratulations, you win Star Email of the Week.

=============================

Flying Geese
-------------------
   From: Mandy Noble
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com

Happy New Year!!!
Please could I make some transfers for my very sorry state of a team.

OUT – CB - Jagielka – 338 – CHE
IN – CB - SMALLING – 342 – MU

OUT – FB – HAZARD – 517 – CHE
IN – FB – OZEL – 375 – ARS

OUT – ST – BERAHINO – 736 – WBA
IN – ST – VARDY – 614 – LEICS

OUT – FB – CLYNE – 226 – LIV
IN – FB – KOLAROV – 280 – MC

Ta very much!

Mandy
----------------------
Chairman responds:
Transfer Complete.  It still looks like your team is Puncheon above its weight.

=============================

Pyeators
-------------------
   From: Dave Clayton
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com

Dear Mr Chairman Sir, Happy New Year to you and your Umperlumpers!

New Year, new squad (well almost)! The transfer window is open and so is your wallet!

Out 228 Coleman in 245 Azpilicueta
Out 336 Kompany In 396 Vertongen
Out 465 Mane In 836 De Bruyne
Out 417 Redmond in 575 Ozil
Out 473 Depay In 558 Payet

Many Thanks

Dave Pyeating Clayton
----------------------
Chairman responds:
Transfers Complete. You now have just the two transfers remaining.  Happy New Year to you too.  Two remaining.  Two.

=============================

Week 21: OFFL Cup Group Stage Halfway Point

OMG Chairman's eaten too much again

While OMG Chairman is recovering from a 'Good Christmas' by unbuttoning his pantaloons and burping Auld Lang Syne, this week's Manager of the Week is Neil McConaghy.  Neil's Diamonds scored a massive 32 points putting him and his team on top of Group D of the OFFL Cup.

Also worthy of note is RS-TBOY jumping into third place in the league with a score of 25 points helping push Livercoolio down into sixth.

Happy New Year and all that.

========
OFFL Cup
--------
First Round Group Stage So Far

Group A                       Value Wk21 Wk22 Total
---------------------------------------------------
  Which Team                    53.3  21       21
  Moobchester United            54.9  19       19
  Minty's Minions               51.5  17       17
  The Flying Geese              53.9  16       16
  Seb Blattered Cod             54.3  15       15   To Go Out
  It's a Snickers FC            51.7  10       10   To Go Out

Group B                             Wk21 Wk22 Total
---------------------------------------------------
  Radnorshire Tigers            50.7  20       20
  Pyeators                      53.7  15       15
  Moreton Rovers                54.6  15       15
  Livercoolio                   54.7  14       14
  Irishpool                     52.0   5       5    To Go Out
  Bad Wolf United               54.1   4       4    To Go Out

Group C                             Wk21 Wk22 Total
---------------------------------------------------
  Guess Hughton                 53.9  28       28
  Old Malcolm Academicals       54.8  19       19
  Inter Milandrover             54.8  17       17
  Oak Hamsters                  51.6  13       13
  Real Mcdrid                   51.5  11       11   To Go Out

Group D                             Wk21 Wk22 Total
---------------------------------------------------
  Neil's Diamonds               53.2  32       32
  Ali McMoist                   51.1  25       25
  RS-TBOY                       51.4  25       25
  Moanchester United            54.9  20       20
  Com-a ma mau papa com-a mau   52.1   9       9    To Go Out




T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 51.5 17 227
 2 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         54.8 17 191
 3 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   51.4 25 185
 4 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    53.7 15 185
 5 Moobchester United         Jon King        54.9 19 182
 6 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  54.7 14 178
 7 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    52.1  9 172
 8 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       53.9 28 168
 9 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  53.2 32 167
10 Seb Blattered Cod          Gavin Ward      54.3 15 159
11 Moreton Rovers             Edgar Rayner    54.6 15 149
12 Old Malcolm Academicals    Malcolm Pratt   54.8 19 149
13 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    50.7 20 145
14 Ali McMoist                Alison Faulkner 51.1 25 143
15 Real Mcdrid                Craig McHugh    51.5 11 141
16 Which Team                 Rachel Jones    53.3 21 140
17 Oak Hamsters               Steve Tierney   51.6 13 138
18 The Flying Geese           Mandy Noble     53.9 16 138
19 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     52.0  5 115
20 Moanchester United         Alex Blundell   54.9 20 115
21 It's a Snickers FC         Ashley Keeler   51.7 10  88
22 Bad Wolf United            Karyn Meaden    54.1  4  58


                              Week's Average Points    16
                              Total Average Points    151
---

-----------------------------
T r a n s f e r s   a n d   s t u f f
=============================
Before deadline

Oak Hamsters
-------------------
   From: Steve Tierney
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com

How do

1st transfer of season. 

Can I swap pelle for Lukaku please (719)

Ho Ho Ho

----------------------
Chairman responds:
Consider it done. It's the Cup you're after isn't it?  Let's face it.

=============================

Irishpool
-------------------
   From: Mike Smears
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: 

Right, Mr Presidente

I've had enough of this nonsense. Nearly bottom of the league. If the world cant pay me the respect a man of my years deserves, there  will have to be changes. So please will you eject the following outcasts with suitable words of condemnation, and usher in the incomers with warning words that they too will be for the chop unless they restore me to my rightful place at the top of the league:

OUT
121 Hart
266 Sagna
315 Stones
553 Sigurdsson
624 Sanchez


IN
138 Cech
206 Monreal
313 Shawcross
445 Mahrez
719 Lukaku

I shall be ruthless from now on. Let the world be warned

And may i wish your good self, your family, and all the other managers a very happy Christmas and New year.

Yours ruthlessly,

Blissful from Bassett

----------------------
Chairman responds:
Too ruth.  Lose some ruth. Though it's always nice to be wished a Happy Christmas.  You too, Sir.

=============================

Com-a ma mau papa com-a mau
-------------------
   From: Guy Harewood
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: 

Happy Crimbo Chair-chump,

Couple of festive swapsies please.

Oot with Clyne and Payet
In with Walker (264) and Ozil (575).

Ta muchly,

Ray


----------------------
Chairman responds:
Of course, the pleasure is all Clyne.

=============================

Seb Blattered Cod
-------------------
   From: Gavin Ward
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: Turkey transfers

Happy Christmas, most gracious and honourable chairman. I hope all is well and there has been peace about your home during this festive season. If not, then you’re no worse off than the rest of us. May family has insisted on visiting… constantly, regardless of how much effort I put into being an ungracious host.

It’s put me in a right mood and as such it’s befitting that I take it out on my team (I await an apology from them and the press) 

Out:
684
ST S Aguero
736
ST S Berahino
245
FB C Azpilicueta
248
FB C Soares

In:
614
ST J Vardy
719
ST R Lukaku
264
FB K Walker
266
FB B Sagna

There’s little doubt that this will see peaks and troughs in each players performance to ensure I lose more ground in the league but I have more transfers to use up yet, roll on the transfer window…

Bet Slatter…

----------------------
Chairman responds:
Troughs.  It'll be mainly troughs.

=============================

Week 20: Malteser Munching

OMG Chairman can be heard munching

As we enter the Christmas fixtures, the munching of many Maltesers can be made out from the direction of Our Most Gracious Chairman's mucky boudoir.  It's always the same at this time of year... the whiff of pine, the rustle of tinsel and He immediately plunges head-first into the largest box of chocolate confectionery he can find at the bottom of his wardrobe.

We also see that current OFFL Champions, Livercoolio, have managed to stealthily sidle their way up into fourth place after such a desperately miserable - and widely celebrated - start to the season.  Could they be defending their title or is the current gap of 46 points going to be too much?  A mere ten points off second place is a pretty good recovery so far, what?

In other news OFFL Cup Fixtures are being played right now and if Steve Tierney can get his Oak Hamsters to score a similar Manager of the Week certificate-winning score - like what he did this week, innit - then he'll be laughing all the way to Round 2.  The Hamsters netted a scintillating 25 points propelling them up five places into fourteenth.

And finally, many marvellous congratulations to Meaden and Mally for their magnificent matrimonials.  A lovely couple.  Trust us.  They're lovely.  Trophy-less, but lovely.


T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 51.5 20 210
 2 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         54.8 16 174
 3 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    53.7 13 170
 4 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  54.7 20 164
 5 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    52.1 18 163
 6 Moobchester United         Jon King        54.9 19 163
 7 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   51.4 18 160
 8 Seb Blattered Cod          Gavin Ward      54.3  8 144
 9 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       53.9  4 140
10 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  53.2 11 135
11 Moreton Rovers             Edgar Rayner    54.6  9 134
12 Real Mcdrid                Craig McHugh    51.5 16 130
13 Old Malcolm Academicals    Malcolm Pratt   54.8  3 130
14 Oak Hamsters               Steve Tierney   51.3 25 125
15 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    55.0  3 125
16 The Flying Geese           Mandy Noble     53.9  2 122
17 Which Team                 Rachel Jones    53.3  8 119
18 Ali McMoist                Alison Faulkner 54.9  3 118
19 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     52.0  8 110
20 Moanchester United         Alex Blundell   54.9  6  95
21 It's a Snickers FC         Ashley Keeler   51.7 15  78
22 Bad Wolf United            Karyn Meaden    54.1 -3  54


                              Week's Average Points    11
                              Total Average Points    134

-----------------------------

T r a n s f e r s   a n d   s t u f f

=============================

Ali McMoist

-------------------

   From: Alison Faulkner

     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com

Subject: 

128 GK B Foster WBA 3.5

526 MF V Wanyama SOT 3.5

548 MF J Puncheon CP 3.9

517 MF E Hazard CHE 6.8

576 MF D Silva MC 6.2

738 ST C Benteke LIV 6.6

138 GK P Cech ARS 4.2

445 MF R Mahrez LEI 3.8

562 MF G Wijnaldum NEW 4.1

575 MF M Ozil ARS 5.5

812 MF D Alli TOT 3.5

614 ST J Vardy LEI 5.6

----------------------

Chairman responds:

Suits you.

=============================