Week10 & 11: Grieving for the Brodge.

Time's up, Mr Brendans.  Get out.

Rumour has it that these are troubled times over at Livercoolio HQ.  The Bright New Dawn that was The Brodge [a.k.a. Rodger Brendans] at Liverpool has turned into an afternoon of muddy, slushy disappointment.  Chin up though, Mr Big Fan Bielby.  The German's are coming to save the day.  At least Herr Klopp is a tad more entertaining than Mr Brendans in front of the Match of the Day cameras.

And that was reason enough to get rid of him in our book.  But how is the BRuss coping at the helm of Livercoolio?

Well according to close colleague and former friend Rick Beecroft [RS-TBoy],

"He thinks he’s bearing up ok… Showing no signs of weakness... in conversation but it’s a ‘press conference mask’. Given the fact he’s subbed half of his squad already… we know there are grass root problems at Livercoolio HQ.  First year we've not had a tenner on it and look how it shows... Brodge had to go, Russ reckons he should have had more time – more time to what? Lose more weight?"

...a stinging assessment for sure.  And one that was made before it was revealed that Russell Bielby is this week's Manager of the Week.

Yes. Livercoolio scored a Russnificent 24 points. In view of the fact that Mr Bielby didn't win a single Manager of the Week certificate on his way to winning the Championship last season we can't help but think that this minor victory hasn't put the kibosh on this season's 'project' for glory.

He can't make it three seasons in a row can he?

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 54.0 11 100
 2 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    53.9 12  98
 3 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       53.9 16  89
 4 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    55.0  4  89
 5 Seb Blattered Cod          Gavin Ward      54.3 21  81
 6 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         54.8 11  81
 7 Moobchester United         Jon King        54.6 10  77
 8 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  54.7  7  73
 9 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    53.9 16  71
10 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   53.9 16  68
11 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  54.7 24  68
12 Ali McMoist                Alison Faulkner 54.9  1  67
13 The Flying Geese           Mandy Noble     53.9 21  66
14 Moreton Rovers             Edgar Rayner    54.6  4  66
15 Old Malcolm Academicals    Malcolm Pratt   54.8 10  65
16 Moanchester United         Alex Blundell   54.9  8  56
17 Which Team                 Rachel Jones    53.3  5  54
18 Bad Wolf United            Karyn Meaden    54.8  3  41
19 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     53.5 12  38
20 Real Mcdrid                Craig McHugh    52.2 13  36
21 It's a Snickers FC         Ashley Keeler   49.6  9  34
22 Oak Hamsters               Steve Tierney   51.3 16  16


                              Week's Average Points    11
                              Total Average Points     65

-----------------------------
T r a n s f e r s   a n d   s t u f f
=============================

Irishpool
-------------------
   From: Mike Smears
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com

Honourable Mr President

How can I fail to respond to your hint? Let Aguero be recruited. Not being one of those who think all ills are cured by sacking the manager [no, I don’t agree with their decision] I shall shift the team around.

So, Young Man, please be so good as to effect the following transfers. I do not wish Irishpool to linger in this lowly position any longer.

IN
492 Milner
684 Aguero

OUT
543 Oscar
738 Benteke.

And I shall expect an elevated league position in future

Thank you as always, 

Bombastic from Bassett


=============================

Irishpool
-------------------
   From: Mike Smears
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com

Dear Mr Presidente

OOps!

What are the rules - may i change my mind about my proposed transfer as we haven’t reached Monday?

Hearing that Aguero has been injured, may I withdraw my change, thus:

OUT
684 Aguero

IN
624 Sanchez

Yours humbly (for once)

Bedraggled of Bassett


----------------------
Chairman responds:
That's more like it.  Bit of pleading goes a long way.

=============================

Oak Hamsters
-------------------
   From: Steve Tierney
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: Late, Late, Late

Hey [HRH Chairman]

Here is my ridiculously LATE LATE LATE team for the league. If I don’t come last it will be an achievement. Plus – your spreadsheet is bust...so i had to cobble it together...if there are any errors, it’s not my fault.

So, presenting to you.....OAK HAMSTERS

POSITION PIN NAME TEAM VALUE
GK 121 J Hart MC 4.3
FB 206 Monreal ARS 4.3
FB 270 Darmian MU 4.3
CB 384 Dier TOT 4.1
CB 336 Kompany MC 4.6
MF 575 Walcott ARS 5.4
MF 516 Barkley EVE 4.1
MF 445 Mahrez LEI 3.8
MF 836 De BruyneMC 5.4
ST 633 Pelle SOT 6.5
ST 614 Vardy LEI 5.6

Good luck to me x

----------------------
Chairman responds:
Spreadsheet is not bust.  It can't be.  You're obviously a bit mad.  Welcome to the OFFL.

=============================

Oak Hamsters
-------------------
   From: Steve Tierney
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com

Oops - clearly 3 X man city players doesn't work.

Can you take out de bruyne 836 and pop in

465 Mane SOT

I think I'm legal

----------------------
Chairman responds:
You'll never be fully legal.

=============================

Neil's Diamonds
-------------------
   From: Neil McConaghy
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: Transfers Please.

Dear Chairman

I have returned from my brief spell of (successfully) coaching the English rugby team out of contention for the World Cup. With those targets met, I am able to return all of my attention to Neil's Diamonds and I see that I need to make some changes:

Out:
117  F Forster   
322  P Jones 
483  J Shelvey   

In:
114 H Lloris
331 S Dann
465 S Mane

Thanking you

Mr Diamonds

----------------------
Chairman responds:
Well, congratulations.  May you repeat your losing feat for the Diamonds.  Looks like you're trying very hard at least.  Dann?  Lloris?  Madness.

=============================

Week 09: Raining, Reigning, Reining

She's not giving it up lightly is she?  That Minty.  And the League's Top Spot.

Outside it might be raining in Fantasyland right now but super-sunny Minty's Minions, who are currently reigning in the Table, score a large 25 points this week reining in last week's League Leaders Pyeators.

Hmm.  That's all we've got for you this week really.  It's not much we know but you might be interested to hear that the Managers of the Week this week are Nick Reed and Smasher of Guess Hughton and Inter Milandrover respectively.  Both teams scored a massive Aguero-induced 28 points.

Finally, perusing all the teams' week's scores, what's the betting Mike Smears doesn't have the 5-goal Argentine striker in his Irishpool line-up.  Splutter.

T h e   T a b l e

                                            Value Points

   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot

 --------------------------------------------------------

 1 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 54.0 25  89

 2 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    53.9 12  86

 3 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    54.3 27  85

 4 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       53.9 28  73

 5 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         54.8 28  70

 6 Moobchester United         Jon King        54.6 20  67

 7 Ali McMoist                Alison Faulkner 54.9 24  66

 8 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  54.7 14  66

 9 Moreton Rovers             Edgar Rayner    54.6 22  62

10 Seb Blattered Cod          Gavin Ward      54.3 24  60

11 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    53.9 16  55

12 Old Malcolm Academicals    Malcolm Pratt   54.8 12  55

13 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   54.9 12  52

14 Which Team                 Rachel Jones    53.3 20  49

15 Moanchester United         Alex Blundell   54.9 10  48

16 The Flying Geese           Mandy Noble     53.9 22  45

17 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  54.7 12  44

18 Bad Wolf United            Karyn Meaden    54.8 13  38

19 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     53.4 -4  26

20 It's a Snickers FC         Ashley Keeler   49.6  0  25

21 Real Mcdrid                Craig McHugh    52.2 12  23

                              Week's Average Points    16

                              Total Average Points     56

---

-----------------------------

T r a n s f e r s   a n d   s t u f f

=============================

Radnorshire Tigers

-------------------

   From: Alun Edwards

     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com

Good morning! Somehow I seem to have Aguero in my side, quite amazing considering my usual team selection policy of – well, I’m not sure what our policy is!

Time to clear out some dead wood:

OUT

10 632   ST  R Lambert         WBA   6.2

IN

843 ST A Martial     MU   £6.9 

Lambert seems like a very good swap at this stage of the season!

And can I ask why has my Petr Cech been penalised compared with every other team’s:   1 138 GK P Cech ARS 4.2 -1 6 instead of “7” points?

Ally

----------------------

Chairman responds:

Yeah sorry about the confusion, Sir... Your team wasn't resubmitted after the first week.  In that first week Cech scored minus 1 while the rest of your team, as a whole, netted a plus score.  If we had resubmitted your team then Cech would have been on 7 [last week] but your team would now be on 1 point less than you are.  Did any of that make sense?  It was part of OFFL's Fair Play policy designed to protect early submitters.  It just confused everyone.  Trust me, you're better off as you are.  Unlike the Umpa Lumpa who thought up the idea - he was killed with a sponge on Thursday.

Excellent transferrage skills by the way.

=============================

RS-TBOY

-------------------

   From: Richard Beecroft

     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com

Subs time… By ek

IN

638  Aguero

558 D Payet

331 S Dann

OUT

Rooney

Toure

Lescott

Merci Bon

Kind Regards

Rick

----------------------

Chairman responds:

Done.  Transfers to celebrate your anniversary by any chance?

=============================

Week 08: Pye in the Sky

Pye in the Sky

Manager of the Week this week is Dave Clayton.  His Pyeators thumped home 26 massive points to seize the League's top spot from Minty's Minions.  Pyeators now lead by 10 clear points.  Gavin Ward's Seb Blattered Cod fall furthest, seven places, into fourteenth while Big Mally's Malcolm Academicals rise six places into seventh.

Keep those panicked transfers stumbling in.

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    53.9 26  74
 2 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 54.0  7  64
 3 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    54.3  9  58
 4 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  54.7 10  52
 5 Moobchester United         Jon King        54.6  5  47
 6 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       53.9  9  45
 7 Old Malcolm Academicals    Malcolm Pratt   54.8 17  43
 8 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         54.8  9  42
 9 Ali McMoist                Alison Faulkner 54.9  6  42
10 Moreton Rovers             Edgar Rayner    54.6  7  40
11 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   54.9 17  40
12 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    54.7  6  39
13 Moanchester United         Alex Blundell   54.9  8  38
14 Seb Blattered Cod          Gavin Ward      54.3  0  36
15 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  54.7  9  32
16 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     53.4 10  30
17 Which Team                 Rachel Jones    53.3  5  29
18 It's a Snickers FC         Ashley Keeler   49.6  6  25
19 Bad Wolf United            Karyn Meaden    54.8  4  25
20 The Flying Geese           Mandy Noble     53.9  4  23
21 Real Mcdrid                Craig McHugh    52.2  2  11


                              Week's Average Points     8
                              Total Average Points     39
---

-----------------------------
T r a n s f e r s   a n d   s t u f f
=============================

Moreton Rovers
-------------------
   From: Edgar Rayner
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: Manager of the Week

Thanks Mr. Chairman, clearly I will delight in this moment, maybe even milk it in the knowledge that it's all down league from here.
ps Good luck

----------------------
Chairman responds:
This is YOUR season - I can feel it.  And thank you.

=============================

Com-a ma mau papa com-a mau
-------------------
   From: Guy Harewood
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: 

Chair-chimp,

Please can I swop crocked J Henderson for Mr Mahrez (445) who I hope will not stop his free scoring antics now he has been accepted into the Com-a ma mau papa com-a mau mau  All Star Campions Elect XI.

Ray

----------------------
Chairman responds:
He seems to have stopped.  Nice one.

=============================

Livercoolio
-------------------
   From: Russell Bielby
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: Livercoolio transfers

No time for chit chat, just enough time for transfers.

OUT
ST 607 C Wilson BOU £5.6

IN
ST 614 Vardy    LEI £5.6

The Brussell

----------------------
Chairman responds:
You're a busy man.  What with trying to salvage your season and all.

=============================

Week 07: No 'Manager of the Week' for Minty Shock

Minions Fail to Deliver Manager of the Week

Manager of the Week this week is NOT Minty Colquhoun.  Which is all some of us need to know.  Tradition has it however that the ACTUAL Manager of the Month step forward and thus, forward-stepping, comes Edgar Rayner.  His Moreton Rovers have scored a massive 15 points, moving themselves up five places into ninth in the league.

Congratulations Mr Rayner.  S'marvellous.

Now if you could all just settle down and get some sleep, the management would be most grateful.


---

T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 54.0  9  57
 2 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    54.3 14  49
 3 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    53.9 11  48
 4 Moobchester United         Jon King        54.6 13  42
 5 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  54.7  9  42
 6 Seb Blattered Cod          Gavin Ward      54.3  5  36
 7 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       54.6  5  36
 8 Ali McMoist                Alison Faulkner 54.9 10  36
 9 Moreton Rovers             Edgar Rayner    54.6 15  33
10 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    54.7 11  33
11 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         54.9  4  33
12 Moanchester United         Alex Blundell   54.9 14  30
13 Old Malcolm Academicals    Malcolm Pratt   54.8  5  26
14 Which Team                 Rachel Jones    53.3 12  24
15 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  55.0 14  23
16 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   54.9  1  23
17 Bad Wolf United            Karyn Meaden    54.8 11  21
18 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     53.4  1  20
19 It's a Snickers FC         Ashley Keeler   49.6  3  19
20 The Flying Geese           Mandy Noble     53.9 11  19
21 Real Mcdrid                Craig McHugh    52.2  6   9


                              Week's Average Points     8
                              Total Average Points     31

-----------------------------
T r a n s f e r s   a n d   s t u f f
=============================

Guess Hughton
-------------------
   From: Nick Reed
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com

Hmm - Guess Hughton not matching up to the performance of it's namesakes' charges. Do I prefer that or personal glory? Good question; let's see if these changes can help bring the latter too...
Schweinsteiger (what was I thinking!?) and Bolasie out
Payet (558) and Barkley (516) in
Thanks
Nick

----------------------
Chairman responds:
You're going to be UNBEARABLE if Brighton & Hove Albion get promoted to the Premiership at the end of this season, aren't you?

=============================

Irishpool
-------------------
   From: Mike Smears
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com

Dammit, Mr President!

First you change the rules and then you go and injure one of my players. Intolerable.

Please be so good as to make the following transfer, Young Man. And I shall monitor your future behaviour.

OUT 
275 Shaw

IN 
270 Darmian


Yours bombastically

Bristling from Bassett.

----------------------
Chairman responds:
I look forward to being thoroughly monitored.

=============================

Livercoolio
-------------------
   From: Russell Bielby
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: LIVERCOOLIO TRANSFERS PLEASE

Hello Mr Chairman,

I hope this email finds you well.

Now that I have got my voice back (been suffering from early season shock)… and to clear the air… I am not in the slightest bit bitter that the rule of “the season will start after the second Saturday” changed without notification. I mean I am quite simply just not a sore loser at all… I think it was a perfectly reasonable change without telling anyone.

To more serious matters… unfortunately the COOLIO team is not performing to expectations at the moment so me and “The Brodge” have joined forces to try and save our heads from getting an early chop. Here goes…

OUT
GK 141 S Given STO £3.3
MF 473 M Depay MU £5.4
MF 583 M Albrighton LEI £3.6
MF 555 R Firmino LIV £4.8
ST 624 A Sanchez ARS £7.5
ST 684 S Aguero MC £8.4

IN
GK 138 P Cech ARS £4.2
MF 445 R Mahrez LEI £3.8
MF 517 E Hazard CHE £6.8
MF 836 K De Bruyne MC £5.4
ST 843 A Martial MU £6.9
ST 607 C Wilson BOU £5.6

Look forward to some more rules breaking though soon – maybe a triple points weekend, or perhaps a no points for northerners weekend or Random Bonus Week would be good suggestions ;) hehe

Ya friendly not bitter (no not at all) scouse
The BRussell J

----------------------
Chairman responds:
I sense much anger in you.  TRIPLE POINT WEEKEND COMING SOON!

=============================

Inter Milandrover
-------------------
   From: Smasher
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com
Subject: I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar

Lescott OUT
388 MacAuley IN

Henderson OUT
506 Walcott IN

Rooney OUT
843 Martial IN

----------------------
Chairman responds:
Dull, dull, dull.

=============================

Week 05 & 06: Bunch of Currants

Well this is quite something... Minty Colquhoun is Manager of the Week yet again.  And this week, it's by quite some distance.  18 points for her Minions which is nearly twice as many as the nearest challenger to the Certificate.  She breezes past Neil's tarnished Diamonds into First place in the League.

While that first paragraph didn't quite live up to its opening sentence, we can point out that Livercoolio, our current Champions, are currently mirroring the current Premiership's current Champions' current fortunes, currantly.  They have again achieved a minus score.

Raisin hopes for this season's pretenders to the sultanate.

In fact, we've just heard it through the OFFL Grapevine that giggling can be heard from Beeky Towers.

And just as Mike Smears dispatches his first Rant of the Season [see below] his Irishpool have jumped up five places in the League, more than any other.


T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 54.0 18  48
 2 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    53.9  9  37
 3 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    54.3  9  35
 4 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  54.7  1  33
 5 Seb Blattered Cod          Gavin Ward      54.3  8  31
 6 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       54.6  4  31
 7 Moobchester United         Jon King        54.6 10  29
 8 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         54.9  9  29
 9 Ali McMoist                Alison Faulkner 54.9  4  26
10 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    54.7  6  22
11 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   54.9  0  22
12 Old Malcolm Academicals    Malcolm Pratt   54.8  2  21
13 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     53.4 10  19
14 Moreton Rovers             Edgar Rayner    54.6  5  18
15 It's a Snickers FC         Ashley Keeler   49.6  7  16
16 Moanchester United         Alex Blundell   54.9  3  16
17 Which Team                 Rachel Jones    53.3  9  12
18 Bad Wolf United            Karyn Meaden    54.8 -2  10
19 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  55.0 -1   9
20 The Flying Geese           Mandy Noble     53.9  2   8
21 Real Mcdrid                Craig McHugh    52.2  1   3


                              Week's Average Points     5
                              Total Average Points     22


-----------------------------
T r a n s f e r s   a n d   s t u f f
=============================

Irishpool
-------------------
   From: Mike Smears
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com

Señor presidente

This is monstrous! No sooner had my zimmer frame touched the ground, after a frantic interlude lying on a beach for 6 weeks, than I switched on the gas and made for the computer - only to find that you had once again allowed these young managers to start scoring points in my absence. Outrageous!

But it is no good reaching the age of 98 without becoming more cunning: I have found a solution. Having studied your rules, I find that nowhere do they specify that you have to include a goalie and defenders in your team. So I shall transfer all of them out and have 11 strikers. That will increase my goal tally and avoid any minus points for goals conceded.

So THERE, young man!

Bristling from Bassett

----------------------
Chairman responds:
Amendments have been made.  Now eat up your breakfast and read the paper.

=============================

OFFL Cup Winners Prize Received

Champ-io-nes! The Office Fantasy Football League champions 2014-2015, many thanks Chairman Smash O'Little!
Posted by Alun Edwards on Thursday, 3 September 2015

Week 04: Formal Apology

After the publication of last week's Studmarks, social media has been aflame with criticism of The OFFL and, in particular, OMG Chairman.  The pressure has been so intense for an apology to be issued that the Chairman called us after a mysterious prang in his little silver Nissan Micra to request that we publish the following statement

---

Dear OFFL Public 

It has come to my attention that Week 3's edition of Studmarks may have caused offence and annoyance. 

It was never our intention to imply that Norbert Dentressangle is guilty of smuggling Asylum Seekers illegally into a country that is so openly unsympathetic to the needs of such desperate human beings. This will not happen again. 

We hope you find this free online voucher code for Shamazon.con satisfactory compensation for the ordeal you have suffered.  Redeem at checkout. 

Yours sincerely, The OFFL Chairman

---

Pressure was applied to the Chairman

And there you have it.  Hopefully sincere enough to avoid any further dirtiness.

In the meantime, Manager of the Week this week is Alun Edwards.  Alun's Radnorshire Tigers scored an impressive 18 points earning him the much-coveted Manager of the Week certificate.

It's in the post, Alun.  And you've climbed eight places in the League.

Worthy of note is The First Transfer Of The Season Award which mockingly goes to Dave Clayton - mind you, one little look at his original team line-up and you're beginning to feel a lot of sympathy for him.

Oh and yes, MUST mention before we go... Current OFFL Champion Russ Bielby's weekly score... just saying and that, innit.  A subsequent fall of seven places has been experienced.

Marvellous stuff everyone, keep it up do.


T h e   T a b l e
                                            Value Points
   Team                       Manager       (GBPm)Wk Tot
 --------------------------------------------------------
 1 Neil's Diamonds            Neil McConaghy  54.7  5  32
 2 Minty's Minions            Minty Colquhoun 54.0 10  30
 3 Pyeators                   Dave Clayton    54.9 13  28
 4 Guess Hughton              Nick Reed       54.6 14  27
 5 Radnorshire Tigers         Alun Edwards    54.3 18  26
 6 Seb Blattered Cod          Gavin Ward      54.3 10  23
 7 RS-TBOY                    Rick Beecroft   54.9  7  22
 8 Ali McMoist                Alison Faulkner 54.9  4  22
 9 Inter Milandrover          Smasher         54.9 10  20
10 Moobchester United         Jon King        54.6 10  19
11 Old Malcolm Academicals    Malcolm Pratt   54.8  9  19
12 Com-a ma mau papa com-a mauGuy Harewood    54.7  2  16
13 Moreton Rovers             Edgar Rayner    54.6 10  13
14 Moanchester United         Alex Blundell   54.9  9  13
15 Bad Wolf United            Karyn Meaden    54.8  4  12
16 Livercoolio                Russell Bielby  55.0 -1  10
17 It's a Snickers FC         Ashley Keeler   49.6  9   9
18 Irishpool                  Mike Smears     53.4  9   9
19 The Flying Geese           Mandy Noble     53.9  6   6
20 Which Team                 Rachel Jones    53.3  3   3
21 Real Mcdrid                Craig McHugh    52.2  6   2


                              Week's Average Points     7
                              Total Average Points     17


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T r a n s f e r s   a n d   s t u f f
=============================

Irishpool
-------------------
   From: Mike Smears
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com

Esteemed Señor presidente!

Yeah, I’m back. I hope your summer was good -ours was pretty fine, weather a bit too good for once. But when it was too hot for touring it meant I had leisure hours to think up my new team.

Sadly at 99 years old, I am finding the challenge of websites, excel and tables defeats me. So may I humbly ask your assistance to load my selections up, please?  

[Team Supplied]

I’m sorry I don’t have time for a rant just now but I’ll see if I can manage one the next week!

Thanks very much indeed for setting all this up and organising it. Hours of harmless pleasure lie ahead.  

With all very good wishes to you and family

Mike

----------------------
Chairman responds:
Glad you could join us, Sir.  The OFFL isn't quite the same without your regular venting of outrage.  I'm glad you enjoy it.

=============================

Guess Houghton
-------------------
   From: Nick Reed
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com

Hi Mr Chairman,

Was perusing my no-hopers and noticed that I have somehow gained Pedro in a cheeky 4-5-1 formation. Given his performance this week, I'm quite happy with that, however, I think on balance I'd prefer Costa in the regular 4-4-2...

Thanks Mr Chairman!

Nick

----------------------
Chairman responds:
Nothing to see here. Move along.

[MUFFLED SOUNDS OF A STRUGGLE INVOLVING BARE HANDS AND AN UMPA LUMPA'S THROAT]

----------------------
Nick responds:
Good discipline Mr Chairman, keep it up...

=============================

Pyeators
-------------------
   From: Dave Clayton
     To: Chairman@LittleSmasher.com

PANIC PANIC PANIC !!!

Good evening Mr Chairman sir, changes must be made at this stupidly early time of the season i'm afraid......

205 Francis out - 270 Darmian in
304 Terry out - 336 Kompany in
420 Adam out - 558 Payet in
506 Walcott out - 417 Redmond in

Many thanks and big love! 

----------------------
Chairman responds:
Well, I can understand it.  But well, really! Are four weeks truly long enough to evaluate a player's point-scoring credentials?  In your case, I suppose it is.


=============================